I am in AGONY!!!!! It is rumored on this here blog http://www.chinaadopttalk.com that the wait time before referral will be 18+ months. Am I not meant to have another little girl?

The agency I used for my son has sent me pictures of a beautiful darling slip of a baby girl born this month. Should I change? Can I do both? I know I can do both. Everything is possible. It would just be very hard and very expensive.

I now know how frustrating it must be to have absolutely no say in your own fertility. I feel like tearing my hair out. I'm just afraid more grey will come in. My mother didn't go grey until she was over 50 for cryin' out loud!! It is the stress of these adoptions I think. No one ever said they are easy.... but... they don't say it will rip your heart out.

I wanted to apply for a waiting child... but with the wait so long the lists are as competitive as high school cheerleading squads.

What to do what to do......

I love this picture above. It used to give me hope. Now I just want to wake up from this nightmare. When we started it was 6 months 'til referral!!! I'm starting to whine like my other darling daughter.