While I was passing by a mirror today, I had to stop, shocked, amazed. I was smiling. A real smile. I hadn't known that I'd been missing the expression until I glimpsed my reflection and my feet rooted to the floor. My body MADE me look and realize I have turned a corner. I can smile again.
It may seen like an everyday occurrence. It hasn't been for me. I mean, I've smiled. You know the smile I'm talking about. The one all of us learn, the mask, but this one was real, there was a sparkle in my eyes, the lines beside them reaching out to my temples, my dimple showing.
My heart seems to have started beating again.
I have started to notice the beauty that surrounds me even more. I saw a valley full of clouds with evergreens poking up between them during twilight last night. I stopped. I got the kids out to show them, then more cars stopped. It was that beautiful. I wish I would have had my camera. There was a group of us, people sharing the beauty before us. All of us with the feeling that there is only a matter of time before it is gone.
Savor it......
We got back into the car and on the radio was a beautiful song "Homeward Bound" by Simon & Garfunkel. Pretty.
I have been getting Architectural Digest, I found beauty in a chair. A chair.
It is coming back to me. I don't know how to explain it. I just feel that I had lost myself in the worry of the adoption, the cancer, the daily stresses- you know- LIFE. I didn't even know it was gone, just like my smile, I didn't know it was gone until I found it again.
4 comments:
I have to say, your smile post made me smile on an especially rotten day. Thanks for sharing:)
The smile... sometimes it's the inner smile that speaks volumes to us... silently, but we see, no, we FEEL, that inner smile.
I feel that inner smile some mornings. I finally have a longer commute to work, it's a blessing and a curse. On the mornings it's a blessing, I watch the beauty in the skies unfold as the sun rises through the mountains. And I marvel in the incredibleness of the world I live in.
It's on those mornings, that I breath free, I feel a sense of calm wash over me, and my inner smile shines through. On those days I feel the veil of great remorse and mourning lifting off of me, in that silent world of darkness that covers me at times. Few see those moments, but I can visualize it right now as I write.
Some days, the fog in your mind can lift and give you your smile. I am sooo happy you've found yours. Hang in there and thanks for taking the time to post on my blog. I like reading your comments.
had to post anonymous, having problems with the new internet explorer... this is Lisa at Confucius Says.
Ok, I am an idiot... I kept trying to post my comment and didn't notice the cutoff section on my monitor... you have the moderator on, so you got like a bizillion attempts of me trying to post my comment... sorry for the well intended spam....!
Well hello there! I was FINALLY able to get onto the web again and can't remember my damn password, but it's me, Stephanie - princess shine pages. I'll have to spend more time reading back over what's been going on with you the past month, but from this post it sounds like you're doing well at the moment.....
Check in later but wanted to say hi and thanks for asking where I was. Been moving, then blocked out of all blogs on the work site, so basically going nuts both wondering what everyone was up to and also realizing how damn addicted I am to the blog chics I feel I've come to know just enough to miss them (0:
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