I do not know where you left your keys. I have a basket at the door for you to put them in.
I do not wear your hat or glasses, I do not hide your underwear or wallet.
I don't put peas in the soup because I want to poison you.
I don't conspire with the kids to put the wooden blocks where you may try to walk in the middle of the night.
I did not eat your stash of mayonnaise and bologna.
I was not trying to kill you when I woke you to go to the health fair at 5am while not letting you eat until you got your blood drawn.
Just the opposite dude, I want you to stick around for a while longer-
So I can dial the phone so you will call your mother on her birthday, buy me a sweater 4 sizes too big for our anniversary and find your cell phone underneath the couch cushion while your telling me I must have put it somewhere.
4 comments:
I had to delurk to tell you that not even 2 hours ago I was telling my youngest son that for his 13th birthday on Sunday I am buying him a purse to keep all his important stuff in. I have told my husband for years that he needs one. We also have the basket by the door and are always finding wallets, keys, and various items under cushions, under pillows and places that creepy things grow. For some reason they all think that I have a built in homing device for finding all the crap they misplace. I just loved this post :)
Man, this made me laugh out loud. The kids came in and looked at me very suspiciously....univesal truths!
We haven't met but we must be kindred at heart because this is practically my husband. I don't even have to know where he touched it to be able to guess 98% exactly where he left it/laid it/stashed it .. but who gets the blame? The lovely Mrs! :)
This is too funny! Thanks for the post. I can totally relate.
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