Blah Doldrums

Hello? Echo echo echo

Absolutely nothing here.....

Spoke with a placing supervisor for the State and she said that over 200 new families were approved for adoption here last month.

Don't get me wrong. Happy as heck to hear there are people out there who want to adopt foster children. But.....

Hubby and I have been talking about breaking down and making a "homemade" child. Could I still do that with the cancer (its gone remember?) and all? Do I want to? I thought there were enough children on this planet already and that we would bring one of those beauties into our home. It looks as it is just NOT TO BE. I cringe a little inside when I type that. I feel strongly about positive thinking working but..... I don't seem to have much of a supply of that on this topic.

Went to a National Adoption Day get together here in town last month. One family had a 6 week old baby the birth mother left at the hospital, gorgeous little boy. I held him for a while as my heart broke into little shards and slipped down onto the floor. Another family at the party had his older brother.

Maybe I should drop this whole expensive disastrous mess of an agency or international adoption and be the shoulder, the loving arms, the warm home for a child who needs it no matter how short or long of duration. Like the Princess Shine Stephanie says you are making a difference for someone right then, right now.

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Went to a presentation today about Kaleidoscope a new project in CA to "increase adoption of foster youth ages 9 and over, in care for 18 months or more and placed with a non-related caregiver".

AB 1808 (Chapter 75 Statutes of 2006)

Four adoptions specialists and one adoptions supervisor will target youth that are in need of permanent adoptive homes and life-long connections. They will help identify those connections and consider permanency.

Basically they are trying to create permanent connections for older youth in the system. People like mentors, teachers, previous foster parents, long lost siblings etc. Someone the kids can call in the middle of the night or whatever for a ride, a recipe, or just a listening ear.

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Also heard-

Resilience: You Can Make A Difference

by Mervlyn K. Kitashima

She was part of a 40 year study called the "Kauai Longitudinal" study by a Dr. Werner who was at Berkeley at the time but is now at Davis. What makes some kids overcome the odds? How does resiliency "work"?

Here are 4 ideas to start with:

1. Hard Work- learning how to stand up on your own two feet and work your butt off (my own notes- NOT her words.


2. Safe People/Safe Places- example - grandma's house- somewhere where it is ok to cry


3. Participation and Involvement- to see a broader vision . To see that there is a different choice than your own "dysfunctional" home. This can include after school activities, student government- anything to help build a sense of worth and that you are "good for something".


4. Have a sense of hope- to see that there is more to the FUTURE. So often people are stuck in the "daily survival mode". Build the spirit inside the child. This can include a religious or spiritual sense of vision.

I am a very poor translator for her wonderful presentation, if you ever have the chance go and listen to her sometime. She believes (as I do) that every child is "At Promise" not "At Risk". You can help a child to LEARN resiliency.

Maybe when I'm not so tired and totally utterly DEPRESSED about our adoption journey, I can make more sense of this for you. Or maybe you can "google" Bonnie Bernard, Dr. Werner and the study- overcoming the odds:High Risk children from birth to adulthood, Etc.

A good place to start to find ways to help kids succeed is The Search Institute

bye for now-

ps gotta change my blog name since now I am no longer a "working mother" though I do have a "job" Have to think about that too. Oh well.............now where is that ice cream bucket?