I always kind of freak out a little bit at New Years. I look back and see all the things I HAVEN'T done and look in the mirror and see time marching FAST.
Yesterday I had a positive outlook and HOPE for the New Year. Today is ... different. Luckily my friends know this and have been sending me funnies. Luckily my horoscope (which I see as a pick me up more than a "fortune") was apropos.
My major malfunction at the moment is not having a "job". I guess the work I do at the school etc., isn't filed under the "career" label in my brain. The thing is, I don't want a "real" job anymore. I really am enjoying my kids to no end. I LOVE being a SAHM. No, I'm not making what I used to (and believe me, it was comfortable) but my mind, body and my children are faring much better.
But I have this "itch". I can't cure it. I have the NEED to make money, and a lot of it. It has to be the way I was raised, we were working with my parents before we could walk. There are pictures of my brother and I crawling around picking up windfall apples and placing them in boxes for cider in my moms photo albums (and this was just a "hobby" for my parents). We sat at the end of the road selling produce, wore hard hats while on working on equipment, learning to type and helping fill out payroll checks way before ages with double digits. I graduated high school in three years so I could "work for a year" before college and make extra money for travel etc.
I just got a job as a freelance photographer for the local newspaper. This, again, is not a "real" job. I am quite antsy over it. I've always loved photography yet......... will I ruin it by making money (hardly any) at it? Maybe I'll just keep repeating my horoscope for today to myself in the hopes that I can make it through the day and not sign my life away in a contract that I know will keep me working 7 days a week until I burn out. Yet that is just what I am craving! I feel the need, the need for adrenaline and a fat bank account- but at what cost?
My horoscope for today:
You are experiencing rather intense feelings right now and may need a bit of relaxation in the middle of it all. Try to pace yourself, so that you don't end up running out of steam.
Relax, Relax, Relax, RELAX, RELAX, RELAX!!!!!!!!
A funny that reminded me of my daughter:
A mother invited some people to dinner.
At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,
'Would you like to say the blessing?'
'I wouldn't know what to say,' the girl replied.
'Just say what you hear Mommy say,' the mother answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said,
'Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?'
Yesterday I had a positive outlook and HOPE for the New Year. Today is ... different. Luckily my friends know this and have been sending me funnies. Luckily my horoscope (which I see as a pick me up more than a "fortune") was apropos.
My major malfunction at the moment is not having a "job". I guess the work I do at the school etc., isn't filed under the "career" label in my brain. The thing is, I don't want a "real" job anymore. I really am enjoying my kids to no end. I LOVE being a SAHM. No, I'm not making what I used to (and believe me, it was comfortable) but my mind, body and my children are faring much better.
But I have this "itch". I can't cure it. I have the NEED to make money, and a lot of it. It has to be the way I was raised, we were working with my parents before we could walk. There are pictures of my brother and I crawling around picking up windfall apples and placing them in boxes for cider in my moms photo albums (and this was just a "hobby" for my parents). We sat at the end of the road selling produce, wore hard hats while on working on equipment, learning to type and helping fill out payroll checks way before ages with double digits. I graduated high school in three years so I could "work for a year" before college and make extra money for travel etc.
I just got a job as a freelance photographer for the local newspaper. This, again, is not a "real" job. I am quite antsy over it. I've always loved photography yet......... will I ruin it by making money (hardly any) at it? Maybe I'll just keep repeating my horoscope for today to myself in the hopes that I can make it through the day and not sign my life away in a contract that I know will keep me working 7 days a week until I burn out. Yet that is just what I am craving! I feel the need, the need for adrenaline and a fat bank account- but at what cost?
My horoscope for today:
You are experiencing rather intense feelings right now and may need a bit of relaxation in the middle of it all. Try to pace yourself, so that you don't end up running out of steam.
Relax, Relax, Relax, RELAX, RELAX, RELAX!!!!!!!!
A funny that reminded me of my daughter:
A mother invited some people to dinner.
At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,
'Would you like to say the blessing?'
'I wouldn't know what to say,' the girl replied.
'Just say what you hear Mommy say,' the mother answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said,
'Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?'
3 comments:
I hate the new year too. I try to bury my head and ignore. I've found the only thing that does work is to get some new age self=help books and create a dream.
Love the prayer.
Very funny story. :)
I feel that you and I have a lot in common - but in this we are absolutely opposite. I cannot connect work and money! I never know when I'm getting paid. I never know WHAT I'm getting paid. I just don't associate the two things. It makes my husband crazy. To help finance our adoption I took a part-time job doing interviews for a medical study. I turned in a time sheet prior to our trip (no every two-weeks for me; it was about nine months into the work), and I haven't turned one in since, or even paid attention to my hours. I know this is just crazy. Now I feel all this responsibility to do these interviews, but I realize I'm just doing it as a volunteer....and I don't have time for it... What an idiot I am!
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