Chinese Birthparents Found
(I'm probably the last to know)
(Got this on a Birth Parent Contact List)
Translation: It's a lovely piece. I wish I had a translation for the first part of it, which concerns Chinese "waiting" children with special needs. The birth father's reaction is especially poignant, I think.
I'm glad the two families will be meeting later this year and look forward to another installment from Spoorloos on this.
When you hit the link, it's the first one called "Spoorloos" which means Missing.
Enjoy.It appears there is a statute of limitations, of sorts, on child abandonment ... five years, which might make more of these searches possible in the future.
Susan T.starts at 0:27:35in churchA church in Noord-Holland (province), a couple of weeks ago. We meetEline.Eline is an altar girl and searching for her Chinese parents. For acoupleof years now she has been asking her Dutch parents about her roots. Elinewas born in the surroundings of Chongqing.ChongqingHere she was abandoned shortly after her birth. The first months of her life she stayed with a Chinese foster family.
Then she is adopted by a Dutch couple. Eline grows op with Anneli. Anneli is7 years old and she is from another part of China. She is also afoundling. The children form a family with their mother Wilma and their fatherJim, who also has Asian blood.
A-Father: It's not very obvious that they are adoptive children inour case,so they mingle in and don't arouse questions of the public. Now and then there is a remark: you are Chinese, well, that's right.
Interviewer: Eline is now 10 years old, what kind of child is she?
A-Mother: She's a delightful child. On one hand she is a littleinsecure. She is a child who asks many questions about the past, about the why,whycouldn't I stay there, why did I have to go, but on the other hand,she is avery inquisitive child, also a cautious person, but she does embrace people.That is very good; when she gives herself then she gives herself 100%. The two children are very content, but Eline repeatedly asksquestions abouther past.
Interviewer: What kind of questions does she have?
A-Mother: Why did I have to go? Where are they? I don't have apicture ofthem, what will they look like? Did they love me? Why wasn't Iallowed tostay there?
Interviewer: And she asked those questions of you.
A-Mother: Yes, mainly of me.
Interviewer: And what was your answer then?
A-Mother: I have always said: sweetheart, if you had stayed there,then theywould have loved you enormously, because I can't imagine that theywouldn'thave loved you. But we also explained to her that they could onlyhave one child there and that the chances are that she has more brothers or sisters. Or that her parents were poor and if they have several children, it wouldnot have been possible for you to stay with them.
Interviewer: How does she react to that?
A-Mother: She does understand, but you have been relinquished. Itremains difficult. It is an answer, but deep in your heart you just want to bewanted.
Voiceover: Indirectly Jim and Wilma gain contact with a Chinese woman who comes from Chongqing, where Eline was abandoned. She spontaneouslyoffers tosearch for the biological parents of Eline.
Interviewer: When this search succeeds, then one day you could comeface toface with her Chinese parents. What will you say to them then?
A-Father: That's difficult. For one that we are happy that Eline iswith us. There are some things that you can see from Eline, she's quite small,youhave seen that, you will probably recognise that in her Chineseparents as well. And then we will see how the conversation develops. Then youhave tostart building a contact. What we will ask, we will decide at thetime. These are the kind of things, you want to know what kind of people they are,to get an idea of how they live and for the rest we have to see how itdevelops.
A-Mother: And I think that I would say what a beautiful daughter they have.That they have a child to be very proud of.
Interviewer: Because?
A-Mother: Just how she is as a human being. How she is socially. Youdon't see that with all children.
Interviewer: When Eline was abandoned they left a note with her. You gavethat to us. Could you read it to us?
A-Father: That's right, this is a photocopy of the original note. It's atranslation by the way, it said.. (English)..Eline: Hello mummy, where are you? Who are you? What's your name? Why didyou leave me somewhere? Do you think I'm sweet? I miss you, do youmiss metoo? Greetings, Eline Kuiper, bye, I will miss you, bye, bye, I will stop,bye.
Voiceover: We are in Chongqing, 2000 kilometre from Beijing. In Chongqingand the surroundings 32 million people live. Because of the neonlighting Chongqing looks like a modern western city at night. By daylight we meet Jocelyn. She was born and raised here and works as aproject manager with IBM. Jocelyn managed to get the local media to payattention to the story of Eline. A local journalist even wrote several articles about it. He did research and a couple of months ago hecalled Jocelyn with an amazing report.
In these surroundings, far from the city, the journalist contacted a farmer and his wife. The man and woman claim that they are the father andmother of Eline. The farming couple is willing to talk to us, but not in theirownsurroundings. To abandon a child is of course a big taboo and that's why they would rathernot be seen in their own surroundings with a camera team from the West.
We invite the man and the woman to come to the centre of Chongqing. Here itdoesn't attract so much attention if they have contact with us. We meet in a big hotel where there are a lot of Western businessmen.
Father Wen and mother Ming have two children: a daughter of 17 yearsold anda daughter of 12 years old, Lu. She also comes. We go to a room onthe top floor of the hotel. Here Wen and Ming can tell their story without disturbance.
B-Father: The child was born at home. And I cut the umbilical cordmyself.
Interviewer: You didn't go to the hospital
B-Father: No.
Interviewer: And there was also no family?
B-Father: No, noneInterviewer: You did it all yourself?
B-Father: Yes. When I saw the baby girl, I found her to be verysweet. She had long fingers and long toes. And she looked around immediately. So Icould see her eyes. I bundled her up in cloths very well. We didn't want other people to know that she was born. We wanted to keep her for awhile before relinquishing her.r
Voiceover: The baby is the third child for this couple. After gettingtheir second child, Lu, they had to pay a big fine a couple of years before, which they have still not been able to pay fully. Wen and Ming know that anotherfine is waiting for them. A fine that they can't possibly pay with their small income.
B-Mother: We wanted the child to find good fortune. We were not able to raise her. But in our heart we did want the child.
Interviewer: You abandoned the child at the police station?
B-Mother: Yes.Interviewer: Did you see anyone picking the child up?
B-Mother: Yes, that's why we waited.
Interviewer: You didn't walk away immediately?
B-Mother: No.
Interviewer: Didn't anyone see you then?
B-Mother: No.
Interviewer: Were you alone, or together?
B-Mother: Together.We put her in a basket with a note with her birth date and some milkpowder.
Interviewer: What kind of basket did you have?
B-Mother: A regular basket.We wrapped her things and clothing. And also a bottle of milk. We had to walk to the city. There was no bus. It was far and I had pain in my legs. Ididn't know it was that far. But we didn't have much choice. We could hardly abandon her in our own village. Everybody knows us there. I remember that we walked to that place. I remember which place it was.
Voiceover: Father Wen is willing to take us to the place where the baby was abandoned. We follow the road they walked ten years ago. It is hours of driving on dirt roads. We end up in a place that looks very different from the modern looking Chongqing. In the suburbs the locals go about their daily activities. There is hardly any traffic.Here and there products are being sold. Chinese people who seem to have nothing to do, give in to another pass time: gambling.We drive to the centre. At the father's request we film as inconspicuouslyas possible.Then we reach the police station where the child was abandoned.Father Wen asks us to stay seated in the car. We are at the spot where Eline was possibly abandoned 10 years ago. But are these really her biological parents whom we have found?
The answer to that question comes from Amsterdam. In this laboratorya DNAtest has been carried out at request. The saliva of the Chinese couple is thoroughly analysed and compared with the saliva of Eline. From the results of this research, it will become apparent whether Eline is indeed the first Chinese foundling who can be put in touch with her biologicalparents.
Theresearch will take a couple of weeks.
The result of the research is known now. The story of father Wen andmotherMing is true. They are the biological parents of Eline.
B-Mother: What happiness! It's really a miracle that she ended upthere.
B-Father: She is beautiful. She must have fallen on her feet.We must be very grateful to her parents for what they have done. I just hopethat Eline does not blame us. I feel terribly guilty.
B-Mother: I hope we will be forgiven. I really hope that.
A-Mother: I have always told her the story as they are telling it them selves now. My feelings always told me that it was this way.
Interviewer: They feel guilty.
A-Mother: They don't have to. They couldn't have done anything else Ithink.
Interviewer: They are also grateful to you.
A-Mother: They also don't have to be.
A-Father: We now have a beautiful daughter.
A-Mother: What is gratitude? Do the children have to be thankful to us? That they ended up here? Maybe she rather would have stayed there. But you can't turn back time. And we are trying to give her a future here.
Interviewer: They see that too, don't they?
A-Mother: Yes
.Eline: I miss you so, I really do. But I really have to stop now,because Ihave to go to sleep now. I would have had to do the same if I had stayed with you. Bye bye, and good night.
Greetings, Eline.
In the meantime Eline and her sister have watched the images from China.
They understood what had happened.The Chinese parents want to meet Eline and her Dutch family very much. Jim and Wilma are planning to go to China with the children this year.
Gung Hay Fat Choy!
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