Love, Love, Love

We are so so so so so in LOVE with these girls!!!! Today's visit was great! So much for keeping my heart safe until the .26

Transracial Parenting Books.

Transracial Parenting Books

Inside Transracial Adoption – by Gail Steinberg & Beth Hall

Why are All the Black Children Sitting together at the Cafeteria – by Beverly Daniel Tatum

The First R: How Children Learn Race and Racism – by Debra Van Ausdale

I’m Chocolate, You’re Vanilla – by Marguerite Wright

Black Baby White Hands – by Jaiya John

In Their Own Voices: Transracial Adoptees Tell Their Stories - by Rita Simon and Rhonda Roorda

Outsiders Within: Writing on Transracial Adoption - by Jane Jeong Trenka (Editor), Julia Chinyere Oparah (Editor), Sun Yung Shin (Editor)

Beyond Good Intentions: A Mother Reflects On Raising Internationally Adopted Children – by Cheri Register

Adoptive Families- Transracial Adoption Resource

I have bought and read these books and articles. What have I missed?

So, it took until Thursday Night to get ahold of my SW. Now, I kind of understand. With all this snow, her pipes froze and broke and had a terrible leak inside her house. She has a slab foundation and as an ex-REALTOR I don't recommend those (if you can help it). So she had to move her family into a temporary home. While doing that she got into a car accident. A "flatlander" who had never driven in the snow ran into her on the highway. All of this while fielding calls from two SWs and me. Poor thing.

On my 50th or so try calling her she answered. "How'd it go?" I said, "Did you get a call from "SW" (our stand-in SW)? She said that things don't usually go that way."

Se went on to tell me no, it doesn't. That people are usually interviewed to be considered before they go see the child/ren, blah blah blah. She asked about the kids. Whether they seemed properly attached, their behavior etc. I told her that they seemed VERY attached, they were very well behaved. In fact they could teach my current children a thing or two in that department. DH couldn't believe that the 2 yr old would say "excuse me" every time she wanted to tell him something.

I then told her that their SW wanted us to pick up the girls and have them come up for the weekend but that I wasn't sure that that was such a good idea. At their age its just too scary to drive three hours away and spend three days with virtual strangers. She agreed and said she would talk to the SW. Then we went over paperwork stuff and found out that our CPR cert just expired the day before, DH's drivers license had been renewed and they needed a copy and our TB tests needed updating. Yeesh. She asked me if we wanted to go ahead. Of course, I said yes.

She said she'd get ahold of me after she spoke with the SW. Friday morning I got an e-mail:
"After you take the CPR course again, go ahead and set up visits. The .26 is in February so legally we are where we would be in any case. You may have a visit and if the hearing is continued you will have a monthly visit in Sacramento until the .26 is settled."

So, I had already called C the Foster Mother and thanked her for letting us invade her house and had told her the SWs were talking and that I would call when I knew anything. From the above message I thought we were to have monthly visits. I waited to call until I was able to make arrangements for our CPR update.

Monday the other SW called and asked why we did not take the kids for the weekend. Ummmmm......

Well, in all this mess, we have retaken CPR, had new TB tests, are building like crazy while we've had the most snow that I can remember and trying to figure out if the two SW's are talking to each other at all. We've even looked at new vehicles (not new, I'll never buy new again) we found one we can almost trade straight across for with my truck, the one I thought I'd have for the rest of my life as it cost almost as much as my house. The car seats nine. NINE. Can you imagine what the gas will cost?

Remember when we had basically given up on this thing? We got frustrated and downhearted and left off on what we had planned to do. Now we are so sorry as we are freaked out about getting this room done as there is one more person then we planned on joining our family. 5 kids guys. 5. DH and I are so excited and freaked out all at the same time.

As Annie said, we are hoping to keep C in our circle as we would like to keep her as the girls Auntie. I hope to ask her when we go to her house to see the girls on Saturday. She seems depressed and I hope that if she is willing to stay their Auntie that this will help with the transition for her, her family and the girls.

I have been making a little photo album to stay with the girls until we can bring them home.

I've been having some issues with people that are kind of "complaining" about how large our family will be. They say that I am burdening my husband. They say that I am burdening the system by adopting from Foster Care (what?). They say that I am short changing the children already in my care. They say that I will be short changing the girls that we are so excited to bring home as our daughters. They say we will be culturally stunting the girls because we are not African American and they are. They say, they say, they say........

Personally I am not sure where this hostility is coming from. Why all of a sudden? Is it just the number of children, or that we will be a multi racial and ethnic family?

****edited to include:

Once Again Annie has basically read my mind and posted about people looking askance at the decision to adopt a NUMBER of children.


I hope this post makes sense. I'm trying to update while in the middle of a hurricane of activity and don't have time to review it. Did I mention that a puppy has arrived in the middle of this mess as well?

Meeting The Girls

After being handed directions we got into our truck and followed two white generic cars through miles of new roads surrounded by stucco buildings and houses. Just two years ago this land that had been working farms.


DH says its a good thing we had a V8 as the first SW was driving like a bat out of hell. If we would have missed one light we would have been lost forever.


When we stopped I was hesitant to get out of the truck as I was scared. Now, what thirty-something adult is afraid of a two and three year old? Me. While my Honey was out and already at the door with the SWs I was still in the cab trying to catch my breath and stop the words, "What are we doing? Are we crazy?" from echoing in my head.

The girls' Foster Mother was there to meet us at the door. She was a lovely woman who obviously cared a great deal about the girls. The almost four year old was there in her orange plastic princess heels and Dora outfit. The two year old was upstairs hiding. When "C" the Foster Mom called her she was holding a dolly by the hair and it thunked down the stairs behind her. The first thing the older girl said was "I live with my Auntie".

C said that the girls think she is their Aunt. She has known the youngest since she was four months old. She is friends with their previous Foster Mom. She hosts the older sister in her home for monthly "informal" visits. She said that the sister constantly asks if the SW really is working toward adoption for her little sisters. She is afraid of losing touch with them. We were told the girls love their older sister with a passion. I was told three times that the older sister is a "good girl" and lives with her father.

DH became popular with the girls very quickly. That is always the way. He is just a big kid himself.

We just kind of hung out on the floor and visited. I was asked if I knew how to fix African-American hair. I said that I had read articles and a book about different hairstyles but knew that there was nothing compared to actually doing it which I had never done. C said, "That's ok, I didn't know how to do hair until I had my daughter. You'll learn." Then the SW said "Ok, so are we doing this thing or what?" She directed me and C to the kitchen to exchange numbers etc to set up visits. While I was in there she came in very excited to learn that we were a "Waldorf Family" and asked if the girls would be going as well and I was a little surprised at that and said "Of course they will". Then our stand-in SW asked me some kind of question and I heard the other SW tell C that she should know she always looks for a family with a two parent household. C is a single mom. She obviously loves the girls and was getting upset. The SW had told us earlier that there was a single woman who loved the children but she didn't think it was going to work out. Was C the woman? Did she want to keep the girls? Were we tearing apart a family?

It was time to leave as C had to get to work. The SW asked the oldest if she wanted to go to our house to go play in the snow and spend the night. The poor little one immediately got a deer in the headlights look. I could feel the fear emanating from her as she was leaning against my leg and I was at her level. I just whispered into her ear that she could think about that. Then she said that she wanted us to come back to HER house. We said our goodbyes and walked out into the rain. Not wanting to keep our stand-in SW in her very fashionable open toed heels out in the elements any longer than necessary, I just told her that I would call our SW to which she said she would call her immediately as this not the way things usually went.

On the three hour ride home DH was So excited and happy. "These are our girls! They will fit perfectly with our family!" He is right but I am waiting for the ball to drop.

I don't know what's happening

Well, I'm not sure what is going on. My SW is incommunicado. Yesterday was so confusing to me and I truly have no idea what to do. I will start at the beginning and hope to wrap my mind around this as I go.

We woke up at 4:30 am on Wednesday and left quickly for "big town" before the snow got too bad. We actually found the building with no problem, it was the parking space that was hard to find. We signed in and then waited for an hour and a half for someone to acknowledge us.

While waiting I sat next to a woman who had lost custody of her kids and was there for a visit. She called and called her ex"old-man" to show up for a visit. He lives in a homeless camp by the river with his new girlfriend. He had not showed for visits for almost a year. She told me the kids ask for daddy at every visit. She told me that she was going to fight for her kids. It was uncomfortable for me to listen to her story as I sat waiting to be interviewed and visit two girls that could just as easily be hers as any body's.

Finally a Social Worker from our agency showed up (our SW didn't come with us) and reiterated to us that the girls' SW was "different". She said that they might ask what kind of birth control we were using (oops- I freaked out a little as we hadn't been using any this last month as we had basically given up on this adoption). She also said that she didn't recognize us as she thought she was meeting an older lady with grey curly hair. Ummm.... As she was trying to talk to us the other SW came up to us.

DH and I liked her immediately. She was straightforward, to the point and honest. She didn't talk around issues like I have found many SW's do. We were in a little room filled with a small table, four chairs and we couldn't close the door as there was no room to do so. She stated that of course we had read the court papers. I said we hadn't, that all the information I had was that the girls' .26 was next month, I knew their first names and birth dates and that they had two older siblings.

She handed us her copy of the court report. I read the first page and then listened to her as DH reads SLOW. I never did get to read the rest as DH never finished and she was up and down the hall telling us that there was another baby sibling placed with another family already. The meeting lasted all of 15 minutes and the one question I had asked about the mother's use of Paxil while pregnant was met with "I have no idea". The SW that was there for us stated that "this was NO disclosure meeting" as she ran to catch up with the other SW. We were handed directions to the foster mother's house and told to follow her.

I'll write more in another post.

Save Orphaned Siblings

S.O.S. is a non-profit organization committed to maintaining relationships between our internationally adopted children and their siblings that were left behind. We encourage adoption when appropriate, but also work to raise awareness about the plight of orphaned siblings and how to create alternatives to adoption in order to foster sibling relationships, when adoption is not feasible.



Save Orphaned Siblings

1/24/08

Hi all-

The meeting went well. DH is very excited. I am too scared to get excited. SW's are talking to each other. The girls are the sweetest things on earth. Will update soon.

1/15/08

I'm sitting down to write this post to keep myself from tearing my kitchen apart. I've ransacked the place trying to find something, anything, salty enough to satisfy my needs. Those who know me are quite familiar with my stress eating.

I've finally had to settle for pickled green tomatoes that my Dad put up this Summer. I'm cutting them with baby carrots. There is absolutely NO junk food in the house! Oh what I would give for some salt and vinegar potato chips right now!

The day started with my brother calling from the hospital. I could hear the wailing of a new baby boy in the background. He promised to call right back but I have not heard from him in hours. No info! No weight, length, NAME!!! Like all celebrities, my brother withholds information such as this until he can sell it to the press.

Then, while I was at the school in the middle of an auction meeting (yes its that time of year again) my social worker calls me. Having no luck with my husband's cell phone, my home phone, my cell phone, my brother (ahem), she finally tried the school.

The girls I wrote about earlier, are still available as the prospective parents were not willing to help keep sibling bonds with a brother and sister placed in another home. My SW had no problem telling their SW that we would LOVE to maintain sibling visits etc. The girls' SW wanted to meet at 8:45 am in a city 3 hours away on the day we were to leave at 4 in the morning to drive in the opposite direction 7 hours to DH's grandfather's funeral. The math didn't work out. We almost lost the meeting as the care provider has a full schedule but they decided to cut us a break as we couldn't possibly reschedule a funeral service.

So, next Wednesday we have a meeting with a SW known in the adoption community for being difficult to work with and tends to "ask inappropriate questions". Then we will meet the girls.

SW says she will doing everything within her power to be there with us. I have called my Mom, dangling two prospective granddaughters to add to the just arrived grandson, to have the kids spend the night next Tuesday so DH, SW and I can drive to "the big city" to try and impress a woman we have never met in the few minutes we are allotted.

Since there are TWO girls, we have to now get a move on with the addition to the house because it takes 8 weeks to get a three to a bedroom exception. That is, IF they are placed with us, and they can't be placed with us if we don't have another room or a three to a bedroom exception. At least the EXTERIOR is done right?

So, after THAT call, I got a call from the Adoption Agency I am on the advisory committee for and reminded I volunteered to locate photographers to participate in a Heart Gallery project for our tri-county area. The next meeting for the advisory committee is Thursday. So far I have 4 yeses and one maybe. I've left messages with others.

Then I get a call from the guy at our school who has always made sure we have a car to auction off. He said that I need to meet with the owner of the Toyota dealership on Friday (the day of the funeral) to make the presentation to get a Prius for the auction.

After my niece got dropped off at my house to spend the night we loaded up to go get the kids from school.

While standing by my daughter's classroom, every single one of her classmates tells me in front of every single other parent that the teacher wants to talk to me. My daughter is the loudest in telling me this. Seems that my daughter has an absolute cow when things aren't "just right". Her art projects, writing, reading, everything has to be perfect or she wants to do it completely over. She imparts this information in a very loud and dramatic fashion. The teacher tells me that she a lot more advanced than the other children (thank you very much) but she is becoming a disruption because of her "drama". She is afraid that the other children might start to get a complex if they see her work and theirs isn't even as good as her (terrible, horrible, worsest in the world) work. Ok, how the heck do I deal with this?

Ok, well, I better go make dinner before my PTA meeting tonight. I hope I get back early as I have Jury Duty tomorrow morning.

I would really appreciate some positive energy coming my way for my meeting on Wednesday (not subtle what so ever, hint, hint, hint)
And if any of you have advice for my obsessive daughter it would be great.

Op-Ed Letter Re: Juno

Op-Ed Contributor

Sex and the Teenage Girl

By CAITLIN FLANAGAN

Published: January 13, 2008

The unfair truth of sexuality is this: female desire can bring with it a form of punishment no man can begin to imagine.


THE movie “Juno” is a fairy tale about a pregnant teenager who decides to have her baby, place it for adoption and then get on with her life. For the most part, the tone of the movie is comedic and jolly, but there is a moment when Juno tells her father about her condition, and he shakes his head in disappointment and says, “I thought you were the kind of girl who knew when to say when.”

Female viewers flinch when he says it, because his words lay bare the bitterly unfair truth of sexuality: female desire can bring with it a form of punishment no man can begin to imagine, and so it is one appetite women and girls must always regard with caution. Because Juno let her guard down and had a single sexual experience with a sweet, well-intentioned boy, she alone is left with this ordeal of sorrow and public shame.

In the movie, the moment passes. Juno finds a yuppie couple eager for a baby, and when the woman tries to entice her with the promise of an open adoption, the girl shakes her head adamantly: “Can’t we just kick it old school? ........................

Two Letters, Two Countries, One Family

Its an adventure opening my mailbox these days. Scattered among the bills and sale ads are postcards from Postcrossing, movies borrowed from Netflix and just yesterday two letters from our ever growing family.

Ian's sister Natasha sent us a letter enclosed with two Russian stamps and a picture. I am happy to post that her "new" mother, who is also named Natasha, and her new Babushka are pleased as punch to have her with them. I am grateful to know Natasha is happy, healthy and in a loving home.

Ian's other three sisters also wrote a letter filled with drawings and accompanied a box full of cookies made by their own hands. I am so thankful that their mother and father are willing to put up with me in their lives.

It is a bit harder to contact Ian's birthmother but we do get a letter here and there sent to her. We hear more from his Grandmother in Russia. In fact she sent a message through Yulia, the oldest sister who lives in Delaware, for Ian to send pictures to her.

I feel a little lost regarding Ian's younger brother that is still with his birthmother. Ian asks after him quite a lot and has one of his pictures next to his bed, along with a picture of his three sisters in the USA and a pic of his sister still in Russia. He has told me that soon, there will be a picture of all of them together. He even has a specified space on the wall for this picture.

Its hard to explain to Ian why his brother is still with his birthmother while the rest of the children are scattered across the globe. Here is one article I have found regarding one sibling is placed for adoption while another is not.

FOXNews.com - Marriage Annulled After Separated Twins Marry - International News | News of the World | Middle East News | Europe News

No Stinkin' Way!!!!! This is soooo way out there. Brings a pretty good case for always telling your kids they're adopted and maybe at least having the adoption open enough that you know there are siblings!!!! Holy Mackerel!!

I'm having a really hard time thinking this is true, it is such an "old" story that this could happen. I guess it did!



FOXNews.com - Marriage Annulled After Separated Twins Marry - International News News of the World Middle East News Europe News

Innocence on SALE,Poor Indian children are being freely traded across the globe. A merciless adoption mafia's overdrive leaves authorities back home clueless even as Dutch Parliament initiates probe after a child from Tamil Nadu reaches Holland.

Innocence on SALE-Poor Indian children are being freely traded across the globe.
A merciless adoption mafia's overdrive leaves authorities back home clueless even as Dutch Parliament initiates probe after a child from Tamil Nadu reaches Holland.

Geetha Devarajan


The recent judgment of the Madras High Court directing the CBI to investigate into the kidnapping of three children for inter- country adoptions (ICA) once again brings to light the breakdown of legal mechanism. This coupled with virtually no supervision of ICA by the government and its agencies leading to trafficking of children in the name of ICA.In May 2005, the Tamil Nadu police discovered a trafficking racket involving individuals and agencies at various levels. These traffickers target street children, or kids from poor families and those in maternity wards of government hospitals, kidnap them and sell them to so-called adoption agencies for amount ranging from Rs 5,000 to Rs 25,000 per child. According to the newspaper reports, these trafficking mafia have allegedly sold 350 children to the Malaysian Social Service Society, an agency involved in adoption, for over seven years.Salya lost his four-year-old daughter — kidnapped by a gang that came by autorickshaw — while she was playing on the street. Kathirvelu lost his one-year-old son, who was kidnapped while they were sleeping on the pavement. Both the families registered complaints with the local police. An FIR........





Innocence on SALE,Poor Indian children are being freely traded across the globe. A merciless adoption mafia's overdrive leaves authorities back home clueless even as Dutch Parliament initiates probe after a child from Tamil Nadu reaches Holland.

Reunion - Relative Choices - Adoption - Opinion - New York Times Blog

November 20, 2007, 9:52 pm

Reunion

By Lynn Lauber

In the shady side yard of the adoption equation are birth mothers — silent, mostly invisible women who have given up their children without fanfare and often with considerable grief.

Adoptive babies aren’t hatched in factory farms or dropped from the sky straight into the laps of happy families. They are born by real women — often without counseling, legal advice or public acknowledgment. The bond that is broken at birth has real costs, for adoptees as well as their relinquishers. It is not a simple, sterile transaction, but one awash in blood.

In the late 1960s, when I was pregnant, the United States’s adoption process was secret and punitive. In the religious maternity home where I spent six sodden months, a dose of guilt was dispensed with the daily vitamins: I was bad and should be punished; that was the message up and down the line, and I registered it with my tender antennae. I was meant to swiftly sail through “delivery,” as if it were the tonsillectomy I’d had as a girl. But I remained conscious for long hours as my body initiated a process that startled me with pain and awe. It was only during labor – under lights and woefully ignorant — that the real drama being enacted inside me was finally revealed. This was no impersonal mound of flesh I’d been carrying but a kicking life, fighting to emerge. And it had come from me, who was barely finished myself. But that this child was of me — a continuation of a theme, a chip off a block, an apple near a tree — was a truth that was smothered.

I was strongly discouraged from seeing the daughter I bore on that July day that seemed to stretch .....




Reunion - Relative Choices - Adoption - Opinion - New York Times Blog

The St. Petersburg Times - Giving Magazine 2007

True Story

Families Reunited

A website set up to help Russian children adopted by American parents find their original families has yielded emotional stories of families reunited. Here are some of them.

BY IRINA TITOVAStaff Writer



The St. Petersburg Times - Giving Magazine 2007

Russian School

The State News: Multimedia

Eight-year-old Zoya Shevchenko is one of about 15 students of Russian immigrant Natalie Smith who came to the U.S. in 2005 from Khabarovsk, Russia. Smith spends her time teaching Russian to adopted Russian children in Michigan. Apart from the challenges of learning the language, the transition into American culture also poses difficulty for the children.

A Lesson

Thanks to the ladies that commented on my last post. I needed the support.

I'm thinking that this whole thing is just turning out to be a huge lesson in patience and humility.

Like Denise at Life With Ivan, pregnant women have surrounded me. EVERYWHERE I go I see women with bright shining faces and swollen bellies. I'm being inundated with e-mails that have pics of sonograms and newborns and baby clothes and happy siblings.

Unlike her, the mere presence of small children bring me to tears. It's like I'm going through the change. I run hot and cold.

One day I'm like "Ok, everything is good, look at the beautiful children I have. I am so lucky."

The next day I am either sad or really pissed off.

Every time I go to one of the advisory committee meetings or classes or get togethers in the adoption community I get asked:
"Have you heard anything? Get a call?"

All I can do is shake my head and try not to grind my teeth or start bawling like some calf.

At the Christmas get together a lady who has 11 kids said, "I hear they're placing babies here all the time." Well, I'm not licensed in this county. I've been working with an agency in a neighboring county since 2005 people. Not one fricking call.

I should say that yes, there has been one call, but not any after that. Until today.

Maggie suggested that I try other states. I went to AdoptUSkids and felt a pull toward a sibling set from Russia (disruption?). I impulsively clicked on the link "interested" and then shut down the computer. Guess what? Their SW called mine and asked for our homestudy.

I had a meeting with my SW today anyway (regarding something else besides adoption. Her kids go to the same school as mine.) and she told me that a SW called from across the country and was interested in my family. "What did you do?"

I went to the computer and showed her the kids. She looked at me like I was crazy. So, okay they're not in our age range. No, they're not girls. She smiled at me and called me a "trouble maker". But... but.....

I am so used to getting my way. To working my ass off to get what I have set as a goal. Well, how do you do that in a foster adopt situation? How can you work toward a child when I can't pass muster with the SWs for some reason.

I'm so sick of this pity party crap that I am writing.

I have filled out the foster parent paperwork (again) for THIS county and am waiting for the classes to take (again). Wanna come Denise?

I keep thinking that February will be the cut off. If I do not hear anything by then, foster mama it is. To hell with waiting for a "safe" placement.

Doesn't sound like I'm learning patience and humility does it?

Blah Doldrums

Hello? Echo echo echo

Absolutely nothing here.....

Spoke with a placing supervisor for the State and she said that over 200 new families were approved for adoption here last month.

Don't get me wrong. Happy as heck to hear there are people out there who want to adopt foster children. But.....

Hubby and I have been talking about breaking down and making a "homemade" child. Could I still do that with the cancer (its gone remember?) and all? Do I want to? I thought there were enough children on this planet already and that we would bring one of those beauties into our home. It looks as it is just NOT TO BE. I cringe a little inside when I type that. I feel strongly about positive thinking working but..... I don't seem to have much of a supply of that on this topic.

Went to a National Adoption Day get together here in town last month. One family had a 6 week old baby the birth mother left at the hospital, gorgeous little boy. I held him for a while as my heart broke into little shards and slipped down onto the floor. Another family at the party had his older brother.

Maybe I should drop this whole expensive disastrous mess of an agency or international adoption and be the shoulder, the loving arms, the warm home for a child who needs it no matter how short or long of duration. Like the Princess Shine Stephanie says you are making a difference for someone right then, right now.

================

Went to a presentation today about Kaleidoscope a new project in CA to "increase adoption of foster youth ages 9 and over, in care for 18 months or more and placed with a non-related caregiver".

AB 1808 (Chapter 75 Statutes of 2006)

Four adoptions specialists and one adoptions supervisor will target youth that are in need of permanent adoptive homes and life-long connections. They will help identify those connections and consider permanency.

Basically they are trying to create permanent connections for older youth in the system. People like mentors, teachers, previous foster parents, long lost siblings etc. Someone the kids can call in the middle of the night or whatever for a ride, a recipe, or just a listening ear.

=================

Also heard-

Resilience: You Can Make A Difference

by Mervlyn K. Kitashima

She was part of a 40 year study called the "Kauai Longitudinal" study by a Dr. Werner who was at Berkeley at the time but is now at Davis. What makes some kids overcome the odds? How does resiliency "work"?

Here are 4 ideas to start with:

1. Hard Work- learning how to stand up on your own two feet and work your butt off (my own notes- NOT her words.


2. Safe People/Safe Places- example - grandma's house- somewhere where it is ok to cry


3. Participation and Involvement- to see a broader vision . To see that there is a different choice than your own "dysfunctional" home. This can include after school activities, student government- anything to help build a sense of worth and that you are "good for something".


4. Have a sense of hope- to see that there is more to the FUTURE. So often people are stuck in the "daily survival mode". Build the spirit inside the child. This can include a religious or spiritual sense of vision.

I am a very poor translator for her wonderful presentation, if you ever have the chance go and listen to her sometime. She believes (as I do) that every child is "At Promise" not "At Risk". You can help a child to LEARN resiliency.

Maybe when I'm not so tired and totally utterly DEPRESSED about our adoption journey, I can make more sense of this for you. Or maybe you can "google" Bonnie Bernard, Dr. Werner and the study- overcoming the odds:High Risk children from birth to adulthood, Etc.

A good place to start to find ways to help kids succeed is The Search Institute

bye for now-

ps gotta change my blog name since now I am no longer a "working mother" though I do have a "job" Have to think about that too. Oh well.............now where is that ice cream bucket?

CASE: Annual Postcard Contest

CASE: Annual Postcard Contest


Postcard Contest - What I Want the World to Know about Adoption...
Contest Rules
Who: Kids 6-18 are invited to celebrate National Adoption Month and enter to win cool prizes!
What: Using your own words, feeling and/or artwork elaborate on this year's theme: 'What I want the world to know about adoption'
Now that the entry deadline has passed (November 15), we are ready to vote.
Entries have been posted in two gallery polls - one for each age group.
Click below for links to the two galleries.
Poll for entries from ages 6-12
Poll for entries from ages 13-18
Postcards with the most votes as of December 15th, 2007 will win.
Prizes: Teens (13-18) 1st prize - iPod, 2nd prize - $50 certificate for iTunes, 3rd prize - $25 movie gift card Kids (6 - 12) 1st prize - GameBoy, 2nd prize - GameBoy game (to $50), 3rd prize - $25 movie gift card

A Family A Fair

DH and I were referred to a "Fair" for

"families and social workers to get to know each other in a relaxed and
casual atmosphere."

We went armed with our homestudy and a "family photo page" looking forward to introducing ourselves to the men and women who will hold the number of our family members and our future in their hands.



Full of hope and all smiles we hold hands as the elevator moves up...... ding, the doors open and we enter bedlam. Sardines. Rows and rows of sweaty nervous people lined themselves up to try and make an impression, any impression on a social worker. DH does NOT do well under these circumstances, by the time we would get to the front of the line he's disappeared and I usually find him gasping for air out in the hall with flyers of available children clasped to his chest.



Running for your classes. Job Fairs. You get the drift.

Adoptions - Babies - Families and Children - New York Times

Looking for their Children's Birthmothers

Open International Adoptions? China, Guatemala etc.

Adoptions - Babies - Families and Children - New York Times