Frozen Grand Central

This was fun to watch!

1/15/08

I'm sitting down to write this post to keep myself from tearing my kitchen apart. I've ransacked the place trying to find something, anything, salty enough to satisfy my needs. Those who know me are quite familiar with my stress eating.

I've finally had to settle for pickled green tomatoes that my Dad put up this Summer. I'm cutting them with baby carrots. There is absolutely NO junk food in the house! Oh what I would give for some salt and vinegar potato chips right now!

The day started with my brother calling from the hospital. I could hear the wailing of a new baby boy in the background. He promised to call right back but I have not heard from him in hours. No info! No weight, length, NAME!!! Like all celebrities, my brother withholds information such as this until he can sell it to the press.

Then, while I was at the school in the middle of an auction meeting (yes its that time of year again) my social worker calls me. Having no luck with my husband's cell phone, my home phone, my cell phone, my brother (ahem), she finally tried the school.

The girls I wrote about earlier, are still available as the prospective parents were not willing to help keep sibling bonds with a brother and sister placed in another home. My SW had no problem telling their SW that we would LOVE to maintain sibling visits etc. The girls' SW wanted to meet at 8:45 am in a city 3 hours away on the day we were to leave at 4 in the morning to drive in the opposite direction 7 hours to DH's grandfather's funeral. The math didn't work out. We almost lost the meeting as the care provider has a full schedule but they decided to cut us a break as we couldn't possibly reschedule a funeral service.

So, next Wednesday we have a meeting with a SW known in the adoption community for being difficult to work with and tends to "ask inappropriate questions". Then we will meet the girls.

SW says she will doing everything within her power to be there with us. I have called my Mom, dangling two prospective granddaughters to add to the just arrived grandson, to have the kids spend the night next Tuesday so DH, SW and I can drive to "the big city" to try and impress a woman we have never met in the few minutes we are allotted.

Since there are TWO girls, we have to now get a move on with the addition to the house because it takes 8 weeks to get a three to a bedroom exception. That is, IF they are placed with us, and they can't be placed with us if we don't have another room or a three to a bedroom exception. At least the EXTERIOR is done right?

So, after THAT call, I got a call from the Adoption Agency I am on the advisory committee for and reminded I volunteered to locate photographers to participate in a Heart Gallery project for our tri-county area. The next meeting for the advisory committee is Thursday. So far I have 4 yeses and one maybe. I've left messages with others.

Then I get a call from the guy at our school who has always made sure we have a car to auction off. He said that I need to meet with the owner of the Toyota dealership on Friday (the day of the funeral) to make the presentation to get a Prius for the auction.

After my niece got dropped off at my house to spend the night we loaded up to go get the kids from school.

While standing by my daughter's classroom, every single one of her classmates tells me in front of every single other parent that the teacher wants to talk to me. My daughter is the loudest in telling me this. Seems that my daughter has an absolute cow when things aren't "just right". Her art projects, writing, reading, everything has to be perfect or she wants to do it completely over. She imparts this information in a very loud and dramatic fashion. The teacher tells me that she a lot more advanced than the other children (thank you very much) but she is becoming a disruption because of her "drama". She is afraid that the other children might start to get a complex if they see her work and theirs isn't even as good as her (terrible, horrible, worsest in the world) work. Ok, how the heck do I deal with this?

Ok, well, I better go make dinner before my PTA meeting tonight. I hope I get back early as I have Jury Duty tomorrow morning.

I would really appreciate some positive energy coming my way for my meeting on Wednesday (not subtle what so ever, hint, hint, hint)
And if any of you have advice for my obsessive daughter it would be great.

New Year's Freak Out

I always kind of freak out a little bit at New Years. I look back and see all the things I HAVEN'T done and look in the mirror and see time marching FAST.

Yesterday I had a positive outlook and HOPE for the New Year. Today is ... different. Luckily my friends know this and have been sending me funnies. Luckily my horoscope (which I see as a pick me up more than a "fortune") was apropos.

My major malfunction at the moment is not having a "job". I guess the work I do at the school etc., isn't filed under the "career" label in my brain. The thing is, I don't want a "real" job anymore. I really am enjoying my kids to no end. I LOVE being a SAHM. No, I'm not making what I used to (and believe me, it was comfortable) but my mind, body and my children are faring much better.

But I have this "itch". I can't cure it. I have the NEED to make money, and a lot of it. It has to be the way I was raised, we were working with my parents before we could walk. There are pictures of my brother and I crawling around picking up windfall apples and placing them in boxes for cider in my moms photo albums (and this was just a "hobby" for my parents). We sat at the end of the road selling produce, wore hard hats while on working on equipment, learning to type and helping fill out payroll checks way before ages with double digits. I graduated high school in three years so I could "work for a year" before college and make extra money for travel etc.

I just got a job as a freelance photographer for the local newspaper. This, again, is not a "real" job. I am quite antsy over it. I've always loved photography yet......... will I ruin it by making money (hardly any) at it? Maybe I'll just keep repeating my horoscope for today to myself in the hopes that I can make it through the day and not sign my life away in a contract that I know will keep me working 7 days a week until I burn out. Yet that is just what I am craving! I feel the need, the need for adrenaline and a fat bank account- but at what cost?

My horoscope for today:

You are experiencing rather intense feelings right now and may need a bit of relaxation in the middle of it all. Try to pace yourself, so that you don't end up running out of steam.

Relax, Relax, Relax, RELAX, RELAX, RELAX!!!!!!!!

A funny that reminded me of my daughter:

A mother invited some people to dinner.
At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,
'Would you like to say the blessing?'
'I wouldn't know what to say,' the girl replied.
'Just say what you hear Mommy say,' the mother answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said,
'Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?'

A Hair Trigger

My honey and I get along pretty well. We better after almost 18 years. There is one thing though that gets him upset and stomping out the door.

My daughter has very fine, long hair down to her rear. She has a pretty wave in the front. Everyone remarks on how beautiful it is. THEY do not have to take care of it. My husband does not take care of it but he is adamant that her hair does not get cut.

Here I am. The poor woman who has to wash, condition, comb, braid, brush and repeat.

My mother took the kids the night before last and basically let them run wild. My daughter came home with a snarled, matted mess. That's fine. She was just at my mom's right? Well, this morning DH announced that the kids were to go to his sister's house to open some presents that she had for them and that they needed to leave in 15 minutes.

DH didn't tell me this last night at my mom's because of the football game last night. I know you ladies of husbands who love football KNOW exactly what game I'm talking about. For four hours DH was plastered to the TV. UNDEFEATED!!!! Woooooo!!!! History in the making. I say "this is cool and all but this will not be written in school history books, THIS is NOT history" (well, I have opinions on school books and real history but that is beside the point). ANYWAY....

So here I am, frantically trying to wash, comb and braid my daughter's hair in 15 minutes. There is NO WAY I'm letting her out of the house like that. She looked like what my great-grandmother called a "guttersnipe".

I keep spraying and spraying the detangling stuff into her hair, nothing happens. I finally spray some on my fingers and smell. Nope nothing. My daughter and her friends had refilled the bottles with plain water after using all the spray on their dolls hair. All 3 bottles worth.

"Ok, this is not good."

My husband has a serious soft spot for our daughter. I mean SERIOUS. When she was a toddler and throwing her two year old fits he would say to me or her big brother "JUST GIVE HER WHATEVER SHE WANTS!!!!!!!" She is the epitome of "has her father wrapped around her finger" and she KNOWS this. She is now seven. You can imagine.

She usually whines a bit during the hair care process and I just ignore it. She will live. And today she did pretty good considering what shape her hair was in. I mean I could barely get the comb into her hair. It kept ricocheting off the top of her head. Therefore my mumbled "OMG, OMG, I can't believe this. Her hair is ruined. What is this DD, peanut butter? Baby you have to brush your hair when you're at Grandma's." type stuff.

DH was there, couldn't even watch the process and in a seriously shitty tone says "Yeah, Jes*s is really gonna help you with her hair. Can't you be more gentle?"


"She really needs a trim, her hair is really tangled and I don't have any detangler right now." I say.

"You are NOT going to cut her hair!" he says quite firmly.

While I try to explain the difference between a trim and a cut, DD smells candy or a toy from Daddy in the near future and starts to bring a little drama to the play.

Finally after trying to get DH to even LOOK at the state of DD's hair and him refusing and then ME finally losing it and just trying to get her hair separated into three sections to braid and DD now stepping up the whining DH announces,

"Fine, I'm going to stay away all day. That's what you want isn't it? Just shave her damn head, I don't care!"

Huh?

Is there another football game or something?

Ah, love.

Ah, family dynamics.

Yeesh.

Walking With Dinosaurs

Where we are today!

The kids are beside themselves with joy. I hope I can hold them back from running under the feet of a Mama T-Rex!

Walking With Dinosaurs -


Geekdad's Review-

I just returned from the new touring show Walking With Dinosaurs: The Live Experience. Ninety minutes of life-sized animatronic robot dinos, lots of smoke, and puppetry—yeah! It's the closest thing you'll get to seeing real live dinos. Best ones of the show: Brachiosaurus and Torosaurus.
The show is definitely light on the science and heavy on the spectacle—but who cares! Action moves to suit the younger dinophiles.

A Dog Day

Yesterday I took advantage of a break in the rain to pick up a few stray toys in the front yard before it started to snow on them. I had left the door slightly open (I tend to lock myself out a lot). While I was bent over I heard some growling and barking. As I looked up I saw the two dogs from across the street bounding toward me. These dogs are NOT nice and are usually confined to a fenced yard where they terrorize the children as they walk to their bus stop. Most kids just run past this house. I let out a little yelp of alarm and the next thing I know Mowgli is in the middle of a twisting mass of fur and dog saliva.



It took me a second to realize that the two dogs decided that they needed to put an end to Mowgli. One had him by the neck the other had his teeth sunk into my dog's back. I screamed several times for the dogs to "Let him go! Leave him!" Of course they didn't listen. I was scared to death that they were going to kill our dog! Without thinking I jump into the fray myself and start kicking the dog that had Mowgli's neck with all my might, yelling "let him go you son's of bitches!" I slipped on the mud and fell to the ground. I scrambled back up to find the owner yelling and trying to drag the dog on Mowgli's back off of him. Mowgli was lying still on the ground but still breathing, I grabbed his collar (which I am convinced saved his life) and drug him to his feet and got him into the house.



As I sat on the floor searching through Mowgli's thick fur for wounds, intermittently crying and swearing there was a soft knock at the door. It was the neighbor apologizing and explaining that he was cleaning out the dog's pen and they must have found a hole in the fence. I said I was fine and asked him to just leave.



I called my husband who thought I was just being a bit hysterical (isn't he an insensitive lout?).

A dog with hundreds of staples and a few drains in his skin and around a thousand dollars later he is singing a different tune.



I have several things going through my mind-

What if this had been my nine pound dog Vito?

What if this had been one of my children? Mowgli is NOT a small dog.

What am I to do? Mowgli was not on a leash, he ended up on the neighbor's property, as was I. Should I ask the neighbor to help with the expenses? Should I call animal control? (I hate to do that. I feel like the animal control in this county is like the SS. I truly HATE them. And it is not like my dog has never been loose before and "menacingly barked" at people (Vito).)



Needless to say Mowgli is a mess and extremely down in the dumps and in PAIN. I'm not sure if I should feel guilty for him getting hurt because of me or thankful that he decided to protect me. A bit of both, I think.



Then...



I think of myself yelling "you son's of bitches" at the dogs and having a little laugh.



Here is a pick of my baby, sans graphic gore but depression palpable.



I am really REALLY disturbed by these events, of course for good reason but I had a little cousin killed by dogs. They weren't mean dogs like these were, they were golden retrievers. If golden retrievers can kill a little boy, aren't these dogs even more capable of the same thing? Am I over reacting? I couldn't bear it if I was the cause of the dogs losing their home or lives but I couldn't bear losing my children either.

Project Playlist

I've been having fun setting up our favorite Holiday tunes for the "big day". You can tell when the kids or my hubby chimed in on what songs should be included. I've tried to mix 'em up a little bit so I can hack the soundtrack of Christmas Day.

CA Momma Family Christmas Soundtrack - (just press the little play button and enjoy)

have any other suggestions?

Project Playlist

Funny HA HA

My friend Veronica sent me this:





"Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to a call at a very dark house where a woman was giving birth. Because he was alone, he asked the lady's 3-year-old daughter to hold the flashlight while he assisted the woman. She gave birth to a bouncing baby boy and the paramedic lifted him up and spanked him on his bottom. The baby began to cry, and the lady thanked him for his help. He turned to the little girl and asked her what she thought of all this. She quickly responded, 'Smack his butt again ... he shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place.'"

Holiday Cards That Will Last Until Spring!

I love this idea- I know its not new but..... I still LOVE it.

I found this idea at iGo Green but for some reason Blogger wont let me post a link so here is the write up.

iGo Green

Holiday Cards That Last Till Spring

The annual influx of holiday cards makes for a nice change from what's usually in the mailbox: 50,000 Victoria's Secret catalogs (seriously, do they really need to send a new one every day?) and about as many bills. If you plan to mail out some good cheer yourself this year, consider a greener alternative to the usual paper cards—most of which simply meet the same fate as unwanted catalogs after New Year's Day. Grow-A-Note holiday cards are designed for a second life: Plant the card in soil, and seedlings in the paper will grow into wildflowers as the paper itself naturally biodegrades. Holiday cheer that lasts well into spring, in designs cuter than a box full of puppies? We love that. $15.95 for 6 at GreenfieldPaper.com.

I can't stand myself

DH and I are leaving for a tropical isle on Monday morning and all I want to do is throw myself on the floor and scream and pound and kick. Spoiled Rotten.

I want my child!!!!! I want my SW to get back!!!! I want, I want I want. What a frickin' brat I am! I KNOW it! I can't stand myself!!!

I've been reading this book:

Another Place at the Table: A Story of Shattered Childhoods Redeemed by Love

by Kathy Harrison

Good.

I'm off to pout now.

After Space Junk Goes Up, It Must Come Down, Alaska Science Forum

After Space Junk Goes Up, It Must Come Down, Alaska Science Forum


Was it space junk that made all that racket?

Is mystery object space junk? - Newstalk ZB

Oregon Star Party 1999: Space Debris Falls Near OSP, article by ...

Space Junk? - Backgrounders - Reference - Christchurch City Libraries

Space debris - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

NASA's nagging fear: Space junk floridatoday.com Serving ...

SPACE.com -- Viewer's Guide: Perseid Meteor Shower Peaks Aug. 11-12

SPACE.com -- Viewer's Guide: Perseid Meteor Shower Peaks Aug. 11-12

Found this too.

Guess who's gonna be outside tonight?

Happy stargazing ya'll!

Not a Sonic Boom

Last night around Midnight I was slammed back to wakefulness by a loud boom and the house shaking. As always, my brave husband who was watching TV ran into our bedroom and yelled "Did you hear that? Maybe you should go see what it was!"

Well, lets see, we are digging out beneath the house for another room, did the foundation get damaged? Nope, wasn't it.

We DO live in California, was it an earthquake or an aftershock? Nothing on the Internet about an earthquake. What I DID find was a report about a possible UFO crash or meteor hit.

"Guy calling in on coast to coast in volcano Cali said a large meteor just hit there and fire crews and other have been called to the seen ."

I would say "scene" but I guess there was some excitement involved.

So then, duh, I decide to look at NASA website

The Perseids

"The show begins between 9:00 and 10:00 pm on Sunday, August 12th, when
Perseus rises in the northeast. This is the time to look for Perseid
Earthgrazers--meteors that approach from the horizon and skim the atmosphere
overhead like a stone skipping the surface of a pond.

"Earthgrazers are long, slow and colorful; they are among the most
beautiful of meteors," says Cooke. He cautions that an hour of watching may net
only a few of these--"at most"--but seeing even one makes the long night
worthwhile."

Then- breaking news story where I live:

Representatives with the S*** Police Department and both the Tuolumne and Calaveras County Sheriff's Departments say they fielded numerous calls early this morning in regards to a "loud boom," and "structures shaking."

According to a S***** Police Department report, there were several calls from residents who reported seeing "a blue light," just before the "loud boom." The incident reportedly occurred at 12:09am. The Police Department notes that it also received a call from a resident in Tuolumne, in which a female reported seeing what she thought was fireworks, and then something spiraling over her house.

Individuals with all three law enforcement agencies say that early indication is that the loud boom was somehow the result of a meteor shower. It remains under investigation.

Vote!

The Daddy Dance-Off

Vote for the Best!!!

EB Spontaneous?

This August our youngest will be with us for 3 whole years. Today I received my first spontaneous ENTHUSIASTIC hug. I am so moved by this. EB still disassociates when strangers talk to him and sometimes when extended family try to guide him. There is still work to be done.

But....... he has always been so compliant and kind of... just there when I hug him. He's obviously enjoyed it most of the time but this is the first time there was a smile, a jump jump and run into my arms, a tight, tight hug with a growl. He is free to love. He is free to love me.

Today I went to the conference I posted about earlier. What an amazing woman and program. I highly recommend the book Debbie Riley wrote and will also try and post what I came out of this class with. This is truly changing my life and setting me in a direction to grow and MAYBE specialize in.

Good day to you all and I want you commenters to know I appreciate every word you post. I know I've been a bit of a flake on the blog but it has been a time of great growth and soulful awakening for me. I hope your journey's are smooth and I also hope to catch up with you soon.

Spill It

Time Has Come Today

This is a day when I think Einstein was a genius. Wait, he WAS a genius wasn't he? He had a theory that everything is happening simultaneously....... (When does a hypothesis become a theory? I just thought about my girlfriend's daughter who told me one time "Well if my hypotenuse is correct...") K- sorry- I digress.....

I know this isn't what the great wild haired fellow meant when he said everything is happening simultaneously, but things have just avalanched upon me. Excuse any grammatical errors or just plain rambling people- I am writing this @ 4am. But then again that is just what I normally do anyway. Ever take a class where they had you use the book The Artist's Way? Then you know what's going on here. Again... I digress....... Where was I?

Today is my 10th anniversary.

My son's class is putting on a puppet show this morning. At the same time I'm supposed to be in a committee meeting for the Post Adoption Agency I'm working with and it's in the neighboring county.

I plan to meet my husband for lunch on is lunch break and have the great mini van discussion again I'm sure.- romantic no?

Today the girls I have become quite attached to leave for the valley surely never to be seen again. They are moving into a respite home before moving into their new foster to adopt home. I'm having a hard time with that as they have been living with a woman up here for 8 months, why can't they stay with her until placement?

I had a little good bye affair for them last night. Only their departure could have taken seven children and three adults to the all you can eat night at the local pizzeria. I worked at the pre-school yesterday and "Star" was there for her last day. I observed her and could see that she was already starting to detach herself. How would I deal with moving to yet two more families after SEVERAL moves before at just 5 years old?

While at the pizza place I saw one of the most fractured people I have EVER seen. Maybe I have become hyper aware after the tragic, horrific events of this week but this guy's eyes were DEAD. Not just dead but CRAZY DEAD. Have you ever seen a video or picture of Charles M*ns*n? You know how his eyes are CRAZY? HE has life in them though, CRAZY SCARY life, but life. The guy last night was terrifying. I mentioned him to DH and he agreed. Neither of us could look at him- he was just too..... frightening.

All I can think of when I hear about the young man who caused such pain and suffering, is where were his parents? I have been unable to keep up with the constant stream of information etc. because it is breaking my heart. There is just too much, too much.

Saturday my youngest and I leave for the East Coast. Yes, we are going to see the girls. Me, for the first time, EB for the first time in four years. The trip, believe it or not kind of snuck up on me, or maybe I just kept pushing the "details" to the back of my mind as I waited until yesterday afternoon to book my hotel reservations for the "road trip" after our visit with our new family members in one of the tiniest states of the union. I'm not sure what EB is thinking. I've tried talking to him about things but a five year old with Apraxia and MAJOR modesty issues regarding his feelings is a hard nut to crack. He keeps asking me when we are flying to Russia. I've told him that we are staying in the US, I've showed him on a map, etc etc but he keeps telling me his sisters are in Russia. We made bead bracelets for the three of his sisters while in pre shcool one day and sent them through the mail. EB has one too. They will be wearing them to the airport. I though it would help him "know" them when they come to pick us up. I'm rather torn, I want to video the reunion but also don't want to trivialize or cheapen the moment by having a camera in the kids' faces when we meet at the airport. I KNOW I won't do it, but it is so tempting to document. I also would really like my DH to share the moment even though he can't be there. He feels as much for those girls and their connection to our son as I do.

I got an e-mail yesterday from my SW regarding our updated homestudy.

"We should have this wrapped up in a week or so and then I need you guys to come down on a Monday to look at child availables. Take care."

In a WEEK or so? Wrapped up? CHILD AVAILABLES!?!

Holy Cr*p! What have we done?!? I know this is a normal reaction. I felt it with my second pregnancy and our previous adoption. The reality. This is going to happen. Whoa! Am I ready to be a parent again? Well YEAH! You've been working on this for over two years now!!!! What did you think was going to happen? I know it is not going to be immediate but..... I'm so excited but scared.

One thing I'm unsure of is this.... I had to change a poopy diaper yesterday. Yes people I have changed a diaper before but let me tell you its been a few years. It felt very familiar but when I had everything set up and was ready to take the severely smelly diaper off I stopped..... Am I going to be doing this again? There was no smooth diapering routine done there let me tell you, it felt like a jerky robotic surreal event. It was just too weird. I just don't get it 'cause I have CERTAINLY changed my fair share of diapers people.

At least I'm in better shape than my 43 year old friend who is in the last weeks of a surprise pregnancy and just opened her dream restaurant last week while she's supposed to be on bed rest and has not EVEN set up a nursery yet. Talk about denial.

Well, I better get crackin' with the school lunches for today. There is not time to slake my thirst for my blog reading addiction, I feel so behind and uninformed on all of your lives.

We shall see if it is going to be another snow, hail, sun, rain everything at once weather day again.

Tick tock tick tock........TIME! (know the song?)

Fluish

Well, it has been making the rounds at my house. I thought that it would pass us by this year. Nope. My active children were down for the count the first hour of their spring break. They are slowly getting out of it. It seems they have no recollection of when they were sick. They have just "lost" that day. I think that is good.

The few times my daughter has been sick, she wants to see the video of her birth. I sat and watched it with her. I haven't watched it in a REALLY long time. She burst into tears when the nurse played the lullaby song after they asked me her name. Every time she hears that song she bursts into tears. She tells me she remembers when they played the song when she was born and that she remembers being really cold and she had a hard time breathing.

When I watched the tape I remember the absolute PAIN I was in and the problems afterward. My daughter did have a hard time breathing, it was a hard labor, I did it all naturally, she was 9 pounds and it HURT!! I had a hard time getting her out. I didn't get to hold her right away as I did with my son as she needed oxygen and "massage".

They say that you forget the pain. I have totally forgotten the pain of my first birth. It was "easy". My oldest son was "only" 8 pounds 3.5 ounces. I had him 15 minutes after I arrived at the hospital. I wish I would have had him at home.

I cannot forget the second birth, the pain, the scare, the severe bleeding after..... my beautiful daughter was totally worth it... but I just can't forget it. Maybe it's because I have a very tasteful but very clear video of it.

Please forgive me on the last post. I didn't realize the video could not be embedded. Here is the URL: International Adoption Workshop . It is only an intro of a seminar by the Infertility and Adoption Counseling Center. It just happens to have Dr. Jane Aronson in it. I think it is a GREAT video and pre adoptive parents would be better educated by watching it. Tapestry Books, the people who posted the video, have the whole DVD available on their web store. I have just found them, so I do not have a comment on their service or selection.

In other news:

I have been working a lot with the local Post Adoption Services agency in our area and I am LOVING it!

My SW is on vacation but says my homestudy update is in the works, that means she'll do it when she gets back. Yep, lets hope that letter from Stanford did the trick.

I found out that the two girls I spoke of before will be going to another home next month in the stinky, crime ridden, smog filled valley (I know, it's not ALL bad).

I also leave next month with my youngest to go meet three of his birthsiblings. He is looking forward to riding an airplane again. Last night he told me he also wanted to go to Russia to go see his room there. I told him that he would probably have shared a room with his birthparents and little brother (that was born about a year and a half ago). They have a two room flat.

ALSO next month is my 10 year anniversary!!! Can you believe it? That is two of DH's Dad's marriages (he's never been married over 5 years in his 6 marriages) and longer than almost ANY of MY siblings. And NOBODY thought it would last. DH has stamina and patience he does.

My right arm is killing me as I've gotten a wild hair and completely mopped and polished our wood floor in the great room. I did it by hand and on my knees. I don't know why 'cause I have a stinkin' mop in the closet I found afterward. I guess I AM turning into my mother. I also weeded our entire yard and cut back the damn ivy and the ground cover with the purple flowers the renters planted that I can't get rid of. BRING ON THE SPRING WEATHER!! Yeah!

The School Auction went off very well and we actually MADE some money this year. I found that we have some very talented artists in our community. Sometime I'll tell you about my beloved Paul Newman and how my oldest told me to write him about the auction. (he sent something).

My family is going to be spotlighted in the newsletter of the Post Adoption Services agency (I'm nervous, I don't like it in the spotlight, you should have seen me hiding on my wedding day).

I'm starting to freak as summer is fast approaching and we need to get some money for the trip I booked a year ago. My cousin from Germany will be out as soon as I get back and she wants to go to Vegas and San Fran and... and.... and....

I am having no luck on the weight loss!! I'm bigger than I have EVER been my entire life!!! EVER!!!!!!! I HATE it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You feel me?

My youngest turned 5 on the 15th and I am having severe baby panic issues. It would be a total miracle but what if a baby was placed with us? Where did I pack away that crib and changing table? (not that I ever used it, a blanket on the floor is easier).

Anyway- we are off to the kid gym here in town. They've been sleeping for days. There is PLENTY of energy to burn off.

Ta-

My Dream Job: Mom

This blog was started when my life was totally different. I had kids in public school. We were going to adopt a baby girl from China and the wait until referral was 6 months. I had a very successful career in Real Estate and worked more hours than I did ANYTHING else. In fact sometimes my kids called me the daycare providers name. I know now, that I was horribly stressed out, unhealthy and completely self involved in my own advancement within my "circle". I was also trying desperately to please my parents. I needed an outlet.... when I had time for it.

Since the summer of '06, when my left arm was going numb and tingling and the neurologist told me I might have MS to when I was told by my OBGYN that there was something "not quite right" with the results of my tests... my entire life has been turned the upside down.

That day, when my doctor called, has turned out to be the BEST day of my life. I LOVE my life. I really do. I don't have tons of money, I don't care. We are clothed, fed, healthy and have a roof over our heads. That roof has finally become the HAVEN I have always dreamed that it might be . A HOME. My kids run up and down the hall giggling with happiness and mischief. My life is like the bulbs that have come through the frost and snow and pushed up through the earth to bloom in radiant colors.

I have peace. My life is SERENE. NEVER have I been able to say that. Now, I wonder, if that will be enough for my SW. Our homestudy will have to be amended. I will have to ask my doctor for that letter again, and our income is not as outstanding as it once was. We are not paupers, we are like most of America, we are middle-class. Will that be enough to let our family include one or two more children who will be loved and cherished by each and every one of us? I don't know. What I do know is, whatever the outcome, I will be able to make it to the other side. My family will be complete.

Classifieds

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE

Worn Once By Mistake.

Call CAMomma.

Hahahaha Just kidding.... Funny no?

FREE PUPPIES...

Mother, AKC German Shepherd.

Father, Super Dog...able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

Help Me, I'm Falling......

I do believe my mother is trying to drive me crazy. I really do. You would think that I am an adult who can totally handle Mom's "tendencies". No she's not a substance abuser. She's a mind bender.

One example:

She runs into the house today as I am putting the groceries away. She couldn't make it all the way home and had to pee. Ok, that's fine, I can understand that. Been there myself.

I had just rec'd a little note from EB's sister in the mail and had it out on the counter. She saw it and said..." Now, Honey.... do you think this is such a good idea... taking EB out there this Spring? I'm not sure this is such a good idea."

After telling her I think it is important and that I would love to help my child bond with his sibling and let his sister know he is happy and well and prove it in the flesh.

I had asked her yesterday if she wanted to go. I think she told me no because my father is becoming more "feeble" as she puts it.

I then asked her if she wants me to stay here BECAUSE Daddy is getting weaker and wants me to stay with her. No, that wasn't the reason either.

"I just don't think you need to go anywhere, I mean when was the last time I took a vacation?"

Ummm.... excuse me, I didn't know that I was to change the way I live to conform with HER way of living. I must have skipped this chapter in the Mother daughter Handbook. What does HER not taking a vacation in the last year (she said she hasn't gone anywhere for 4 years. I guess the cruise to Alaska, the family reunions in Wisconsin and Montana and other trips don't count) have to do with me?

She then went on telling me how SHE never took a vacation when the kids were small.... Ummm.. I seem to remember SEVERAL trips to Mexico and Africa and Germany and..... that I was sent to a sister's house or some such thing..... why should I feel guilty over this!!!!

One of the drawbacks of living close to your parents. They still want to tell you what to do and how to live your life and make you feel guilty for not doing so........

I know, MY problem...............