S.O.S. is a non-profit organization committed to maintaining relationships between our internationally adopted children and their siblings that were left behind. We encourage adoption when appropriate, but also work to raise awareness about the plight of orphaned siblings and how to create alternatives to adoption in order to foster sibling relationships, when adoption is not feasible.
Save Orphaned Siblings
Showing posts with label sibling search. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sibling search. Show all posts
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Birthfamily / Orphanage Search Outcome
I want to post an e-mail sent to Tony and Tanya Carruthers (the searchers who found my son's birthfamily- link to right "Post Adopt Birthparent Seek") by a young lady who was adopted from Russia and now lives in the US. She has given me permission for this post. Many people often wonder how a child will feel about receiving this kind of information. This may be a little window into our children's soul.
seek, search, & sometimes find
Posted by: "evana"
Mon Jan 14, 2008 7:53 pm
For what reason do we seek, search, & sometimes find? Perhaps for A little piece of mind, or to
discover some sort of truth. I got a chance to find some answers & take a glimpse back in time.
Time and a place i thought no longer existed. like a far, desolate place i would never find.
People that i would never get to see again, memories(vague) i wouldn't be able to
validate/confirm... However the case is, i did find those answers, i found some answers to my
past. Answers to some often pondered questions.With the gracious help of Tony & Tanya, they
found the orphanage i grew up in. They found what i could call "home" for the first 7 years of my
life, and discovered some valuable info. They discovered the orphanage still stands today and
continues to serve needy children, with the help of some dedicated staff. I was surprised to hear
that a few of the staff that took care of me (15+ years ago) still continue to work there today.
Even better, they remembered me!! I honestly didn't even think the orphanage would stands
today. I guess I'm just so use to this fast paste, always changing, culture of America. It was so
comforting/great to see it all again, though. One day soon i would like to go see it for myself. Just
to be back there, i feel it is so much needed.I'm also happy i got out when i did though. I don't
think most of the kids ever get adopted, and I'm sad to wonder what happens to them after they
reach the prime age. Anyway, thanks Tony & Tanya!!
Evana
I also want to clarify that Mary at Russian Search/Translation/ Call Service (link to right) helped me find my son's last sister that was not found on the first search.
seek, search, & sometimes find
Posted by: "evana"
Mon Jan 14, 2008 7:53 pm
For what reason do we seek, search, & sometimes find? Perhaps for A little piece of mind, or to
discover some sort of truth. I got a chance to find some answers & take a glimpse back in time.
Time and a place i thought no longer existed. like a far, desolate place i would never find.
People that i would never get to see again, memories(vague) i wouldn't be able to
validate/confirm... However the case is, i did find those answers, i found some answers to my
past. Answers to some often pondered questions.With the gracious help of Tony & Tanya, they
found the orphanage i grew up in. They found what i could call "home" for the first 7 years of my
life, and discovered some valuable info. They discovered the orphanage still stands today and
continues to serve needy children, with the help of some dedicated staff. I was surprised to hear
that a few of the staff that took care of me (15+ years ago) still continue to work there today.
Even better, they remembered me!! I honestly didn't even think the orphanage would stands
today. I guess I'm just so use to this fast paste, always changing, culture of America. It was so
comforting/great to see it all again, though. One day soon i would like to go see it for myself. Just
to be back there, i feel it is so much needed.I'm also happy i got out when i did though. I don't
think most of the kids ever get adopted, and I'm sad to wonder what happens to them after they
reach the prime age. Anyway, thanks Tony & Tanya!!
Evana
I also want to clarify that Mary at Russian Search/Translation/ Call Service (link to right) helped me find my son's last sister that was not found on the first search.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Reunion - Relative Choices - Adoption - Opinion - New York Times Blog
November 20, 2007, 9:52 pm
Reunion
By Lynn Lauber
In the shady side yard of the adoption equation are birth mothers — silent, mostly invisible women who have given up their children without fanfare and often with considerable grief.
Adoptive babies aren’t hatched in factory farms or dropped from the sky straight into the laps of happy families. They are born by real women — often without counseling, legal advice or public acknowledgment. The bond that is broken at birth has real costs, for adoptees as well as their relinquishers. It is not a simple, sterile transaction, but one awash in blood.
In the late 1960s, when I was pregnant, the United States’s adoption process was secret and punitive. In the religious maternity home where I spent six sodden months, a dose of guilt was dispensed with the daily vitamins: I was bad and should be punished; that was the message up and down the line, and I registered it with my tender antennae. I was meant to swiftly sail through “delivery,” as if it were the tonsillectomy I’d had as a girl. But I remained conscious for long hours as my body initiated a process that startled me with pain and awe. It was only during labor – under lights and woefully ignorant — that the real drama being enacted inside me was finally revealed. This was no impersonal mound of flesh I’d been carrying but a kicking life, fighting to emerge. And it had come from me, who was barely finished myself. But that this child was of me — a continuation of a theme, a chip off a block, an apple near a tree — was a truth that was smothered.
I was strongly discouraged from seeing the daughter I bore on that July day that seemed to stretch .....
Reunion - Relative Choices - Adoption - Opinion - New York Times Blog
Reunion
By Lynn Lauber
In the shady side yard of the adoption equation are birth mothers — silent, mostly invisible women who have given up their children without fanfare and often with considerable grief.
Adoptive babies aren’t hatched in factory farms or dropped from the sky straight into the laps of happy families. They are born by real women — often without counseling, legal advice or public acknowledgment. The bond that is broken at birth has real costs, for adoptees as well as their relinquishers. It is not a simple, sterile transaction, but one awash in blood.
In the late 1960s, when I was pregnant, the United States’s adoption process was secret and punitive. In the religious maternity home where I spent six sodden months, a dose of guilt was dispensed with the daily vitamins: I was bad and should be punished; that was the message up and down the line, and I registered it with my tender antennae. I was meant to swiftly sail through “delivery,” as if it were the tonsillectomy I’d had as a girl. But I remained conscious for long hours as my body initiated a process that startled me with pain and awe. It was only during labor – under lights and woefully ignorant — that the real drama being enacted inside me was finally revealed. This was no impersonal mound of flesh I’d been carrying but a kicking life, fighting to emerge. And it had come from me, who was barely finished myself. But that this child was of me — a continuation of a theme, a chip off a block, an apple near a tree — was a truth that was smothered.
I was strongly discouraged from seeing the daughter I bore on that July day that seemed to stretch .....
Reunion - Relative Choices - Adoption - Opinion - New York Times Blog
Thursday, December 20, 2007
The St. Petersburg Times - Giving Magazine 2007
True Story
Families Reunited
A website set up to help Russian children adopted by American parents find their original families has yielded emotional stories of families reunited. Here are some of them.
BY IRINA TITOVAStaff Writer
The St. Petersburg Times - Giving Magazine 2007
Families Reunited
A website set up to help Russian children adopted by American parents find their original families has yielded emotional stories of families reunited. Here are some of them.
BY IRINA TITOVAStaff Writer
The St. Petersburg Times - Giving Magazine 2007
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Friday, May 25, 2007
Hope Fades for Reuniting Siblings
By Wendy Koch, USA TODAY
Time has run out for a family who sought special permission to adopt the older sister of their Russian son.
"Everything was denied," says Joan Knipe, the Scottsdale, Ariz., mother who asked the Department of Homeland Security for what is called "humanitarian parole" so Olga, the sister, could enter the USA.
The government grants that special kind of visa in rare cases for what it calls a "very compelling emergency."
Olga needed to be in the country by Friday, her 22nd birthday, to be eligible for adoption in Arizona.
FIND MORE STORIES IN: Hope Department of Homeland Security Joan Knipe Olga
"It's over. She's completely aged out," says Knipe, whose adoptive son Ruslan, 13, yearns for his big sister. "It's tough for the family."
In a story last month, USA TODAY reported the efforts of Knipe and other parents to reunite biological siblings torn apart by international adoption.
Dozens of families have joined a non-profit group, Save Orphaned Siblings, to press for a change in immigration law, such as a visitor program, that would allow brothers and sisters to see each other for a few months each year.
"There may be a pathway in the immigration bill" now pending in the Senate, says Maureen Flatley, a Boston-based adoption policy consultant who is advising the families. She plans to discuss such a program, aimed at children under 18, with members of Congress.
"The kids are in limbo," Flatley says. She says U.S. adoption agencies have not done enough to keep siblings together, and now families are facing more obstacles in trying to adopt the siblings.
Russia is putting a hold on most adoptions by not renewing the licenses of American adoption agencies since issuing new, more demanding rules last year. China tightened eligibility, beginning this month, of Americans who can adopt. Guatemala received a U.S. government warning in March for suspected fraud and child smuggling. Those countries account for 70% of orphans who have come to the USA for adoption in the past five years.
Knipe and her husband, Steve Pettyjohn, say they would have adopted Olga Lukinova at the same time they adopted Ruslan four years ago, but they didn't know about her until too late in the process. They have since tried but failed to get tourist or student visas for her.
Olga looked after her brother for years in the orphanage after their birth mother died. To give him a better life, she signed off on his adoption.
Knipe says Olga is sickly and lives in a rural village in a condemned building without running water. She says she hasn't been able to reach Olga yet to tell her the final application was denied because phone lines are often faulty in the area.
Knipe says she will try to call again Friday, Olga's birthday.
Time has run out for a family who sought special permission to adopt the older sister of their Russian son.
"Everything was denied," says Joan Knipe, the Scottsdale, Ariz., mother who asked the Department of Homeland Security for what is called "humanitarian parole" so Olga, the sister, could enter the USA.
The government grants that special kind of visa in rare cases for what it calls a "very compelling emergency."
Olga needed to be in the country by Friday, her 22nd birthday, to be eligible for adoption in Arizona.
FIND MORE STORIES IN: Hope Department of Homeland Security Joan Knipe Olga
"It's over. She's completely aged out," says Knipe, whose adoptive son Ruslan, 13, yearns for his big sister. "It's tough for the family."
In a story last month, USA TODAY reported the efforts of Knipe and other parents to reunite biological siblings torn apart by international adoption.
Dozens of families have joined a non-profit group, Save Orphaned Siblings, to press for a change in immigration law, such as a visitor program, that would allow brothers and sisters to see each other for a few months each year.
"There may be a pathway in the immigration bill" now pending in the Senate, says Maureen Flatley, a Boston-based adoption policy consultant who is advising the families. She plans to discuss such a program, aimed at children under 18, with members of Congress.
"The kids are in limbo," Flatley says. She says U.S. adoption agencies have not done enough to keep siblings together, and now families are facing more obstacles in trying to adopt the siblings.
Russia is putting a hold on most adoptions by not renewing the licenses of American adoption agencies since issuing new, more demanding rules last year. China tightened eligibility, beginning this month, of Americans who can adopt. Guatemala received a U.S. government warning in March for suspected fraud and child smuggling. Those countries account for 70% of orphans who have come to the USA for adoption in the past five years.
Knipe and her husband, Steve Pettyjohn, say they would have adopted Olga Lukinova at the same time they adopted Ruslan four years ago, but they didn't know about her until too late in the process. They have since tried but failed to get tourist or student visas for her.
Olga looked after her brother for years in the orphanage after their birth mother died. To give him a better life, she signed off on his adoption.
Knipe says Olga is sickly and lives in a rural village in a condemned building without running water. She says she hasn't been able to reach Olga yet to tell her the final application was denied because phone lines are often faulty in the area.
Knipe says she will try to call again Friday, Olga's birthday.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Searching Again for Lost Sibling
The amazing events of the last few weeks have pushed me even harder to find the one sister unaccounted for. The searcher is leaving in the morning to research the two children's home's we have heard where she may be at. Keep your fingers crossed people.
Monday, May 07, 2007
Together Again
Not quite all the kids together. I'm still looking for one sister. The little brother is still with the Birthmother as far as I know. I'm sending this pic to Russia ASAP.
Will write more later.
Isn't this picture just beautiful? What happiness on those girls' faces.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Spill It
Time Has Come Today
This is a day when I think Einstein was a genius. Wait, he WAS a genius wasn't he? He had a theory that everything is happening simultaneously....... (When does a hypothesis become a theory? I just thought about my girlfriend's daughter who told me one time "Well if my hypotenuse is correct...") K- sorry- I digress.....
I know this isn't what the great wild haired fellow meant when he said everything is happening simultaneously, but things have just avalanched upon me. Excuse any grammatical errors or just plain rambling people- I am writing this @ 4am. But then again that is just what I normally do anyway. Ever take a class where they had you use the book The Artist's Way? Then you know what's going on here. Again... I digress....... Where was I?
Today is my 10th anniversary.
My son's class is putting on a puppet show this morning. At the same time I'm supposed to be in a committee meeting for the Post Adoption Agency I'm working with and it's in the neighboring county.
I plan to meet my husband for lunch on is lunch break and have the great mini van discussion again I'm sure.- romantic no?
Today the girls I have become quite attached to leave for the valley surely never to be seen again. They are moving into a respite home before moving into their new foster to adopt home. I'm having a hard time with that as they have been living with a woman up here for 8 months, why can't they stay with her until placement?
I had a little good bye affair for them last night. Only their departure could have taken seven children and three adults to the all you can eat night at the local pizzeria. I worked at the pre-school yesterday and "Star" was there for her last day. I observed her and could see that she was already starting to detach herself. How would I deal with moving to yet two more families after SEVERAL moves before at just 5 years old?
While at the pizza place I saw one of the most fractured people I have EVER seen. Maybe I have become hyper aware after the tragic, horrific events of this week but this guy's eyes were DEAD. Not just dead but CRAZY DEAD. Have you ever seen a video or picture of Charles M*ns*n? You know how his eyes are CRAZY? HE has life in them though, CRAZY SCARY life, but life. The guy last night was terrifying. I mentioned him to DH and he agreed. Neither of us could look at him- he was just too..... frightening.
All I can think of when I hear about the young man who caused such pain and suffering, is where were his parents? I have been unable to keep up with the constant stream of information etc. because it is breaking my heart. There is just too much, too much.
Saturday my youngest and I leave for the East Coast. Yes, we are going to see the girls. Me, for the first time, EB for the first time in four years. The trip, believe it or not kind of snuck up on me, or maybe I just kept pushing the "details" to the back of my mind as I waited until yesterday afternoon to book my hotel reservations for the "road trip" after our visit with our new family members in one of the tiniest states of the union. I'm not sure what EB is thinking. I've tried talking to him about things but a five year old with Apraxia and MAJOR modesty issues regarding his feelings is a hard nut to crack. He keeps asking me when we are flying to Russia. I've told him that we are staying in the US, I've showed him on a map, etc etc but he keeps telling me his sisters are in Russia. We made bead bracelets for the three of his sisters while in pre shcool one day and sent them through the mail. EB has one too. They will be wearing them to the airport. I though it would help him "know" them when they come to pick us up. I'm rather torn, I want to video the reunion but also don't want to trivialize or cheapen the moment by having a camera in the kids' faces when we meet at the airport. I KNOW I won't do it, but it is so tempting to document. I also would really like my DH to share the moment even though he can't be there. He feels as much for those girls and their connection to our son as I do.
I got an e-mail yesterday from my SW regarding our updated homestudy.
"We should have this wrapped up in a week or so and then I need you guys to come down on a Monday to look at child availables. Take care."
In a WEEK or so? Wrapped up? CHILD AVAILABLES!?!
Holy Cr*p! What have we done?!? I know this is a normal reaction. I felt it with my second pregnancy and our previous adoption. The reality. This is going to happen. Whoa! Am I ready to be a parent again? Well YEAH! You've been working on this for over two years now!!!! What did you think was going to happen? I know it is not going to be immediate but..... I'm so excited but scared.
One thing I'm unsure of is this.... I had to change a poopy diaper yesterday. Yes people I have changed a diaper before but let me tell you its been a few years. It felt very familiar but when I had everything set up and was ready to take the severely smelly diaper off I stopped..... Am I going to be doing this again? There was no smooth diapering routine done there let me tell you, it felt like a jerky robotic surreal event. It was just too weird. I just don't get it 'cause I have CERTAINLY changed my fair share of diapers people.
At least I'm in better shape than my 43 year old friend who is in the last weeks of a surprise pregnancy and just opened her dream restaurant last week while she's supposed to be on bed rest and has not EVEN set up a nursery yet. Talk about denial.
Well, I better get crackin' with the school lunches for today. There is not time to slake my thirst for my blog reading addiction, I feel so behind and uninformed on all of your lives.
We shall see if it is going to be another snow, hail, sun, rain everything at once weather day again.
Tick tock tick tock........TIME! (know the song?)
Friday, March 23, 2007
Re: Russian Adoption, Agencies Working In Specific Oblasts
If you are trying to find a sibling or would like to adopt from the same Region of Russia as your child, here is an updated list (as of 3/23/07) of agencies that are working in specific Areas.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Long Distance Relationships
I have spent the entire day on finding a way to communicate with my son's sister that is still in Russia. She doesn't live with her mother. She doesn't live with her father or grandmother. She lives in a children's home SOMEWHERE in the Vladimir Region.
I had to take a break after looking at more than 69 pages of children in the Russian Databank from the Region. That does NOT mean 69 kids. I think there were about 10 children on each page. The online translator did not work on the picture page. I had to cut and paste when I found a girl that was born the same year as "NC" was.
I have contacted Mary from Russian Family Search to help us. I say US because like some of you know, I finally found my son's other siblings in the US after a two year search. They want to contact NC as much as I do. Mary has said she will help us find her.
I have been in contact with my son's birthmother and grandmother in Russia. For some reason I haven't been able to find out which children's home she is in. Maybe they are afraid I will take her home to the US like the rest of the children. NC still goes home for visits.
I would have asked the original searcher that I used before, but with me starting the new BIZ I'm a little short o' cash at the moment. They are awesome but NOT CHEAP. I also don't know WHEN they would go, they have a waiting list. Mary's searcher just happens to be going soon.
So... trying to get this organized over the Internet hasn't been easy. The girls are on the East Coast. I am on the West. Mary is in the middle and none of us really have computers that work well with each other.
I have an idea that I know the home where she is... the earlier searcher has it in his report. The oldest sibling doesn't think NC could be there because her Mom told me she said it was a "bad" place. I am not sure which "bad" she is talking about.
Scanning, e-mailing, cut and paste, trying to read Cyrillic (that I'm starting to understand!), etc etc is time consuming and frustrating but OH SO WORTH IT. Much like the adoption process.
I am also trying to plan a trip out to the East to visit the girls' family. Never been there. Certainly can't go now where I'd probably freeze solid when we stepped off the airplane.
And so, I sign off for now friends, cross eyed with exhaustion.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Families Uniting International Siblings
From the SOS (Saved Orphaned Siblings) Website
"........ we have some great news. The Adler's in Wisconsin were able
to adopt their sons and completed their adoption. They are back home now.
PLUS People magazine followed them to Siberia and there will be a 5 page
article in People Magazine in tomorrow's issue Jan 12. Please pick up a copy
as SOS will be mentioned in the article along with the website-
Remember the website has a link to our blog and we'd LOVE for you to share
all or part of your family's journey on our blog!!! Please take a moment to
add your family's information to the blog? We are hoping to get a lot of
traffic from the article, so adding your family would be great!!!"
to adopt their sons and completed their adoption. They are back home now.
PLUS People magazine followed them to Siberia and there will be a 5 page
article in People Magazine in tomorrow's issue Jan 12. Please pick up a copy
as SOS will be mentioned in the article along with the website-
Remember the website has a link to our blog and we'd LOVE for you to share
all or part of your family's journey on our blog!!! Please take a moment to
add your family's information to the blog? We are hoping to get a lot of
traffic from the article, so adding your family would be great!!!"
For More Information and to Join SOS please click on Title of post
"...pulled together some statistics on our group. There is more good news
as more families have been able to start their adoption process lately:
- 5 adoptions in process and 6 children will be adopted
- 8 more families want to adopt children ages 8-21
- 17 families want to have the opportunity for the siblings to visit them
on a regular bases, and
- 3 families are still searching for their child's siblings, ages 6-12
Remember to pick up People Magazine and tell all of your friends!!!! "
We can make a difference for these children. Get Involved!
"...pulled together some statistics on our group. There is more good news
as more families have been able to start their adoption process lately:
- 5 adoptions in process and 6 children will be adopted
- 8 more families want to adopt children ages 8-21
- 17 families want to have the opportunity for the siblings to visit them
on a regular bases, and
- 3 families are still searching for their child's siblings, ages 6-12
Remember to pick up People Magazine and tell all of your friends!!!! "
Thursday, November 30, 2006
I'm back but busy-
Hey there! I am home but I think my DH has never understood what a welcome mat is for. There are mud mountains not clods all over the house. I cannot find my kitchen counters. I have an intake meeting at my Fost-Adopt Agency today an hour away, I have to pick up my Mum from the Auto Service Place and Blah Blah Blah. I'll catch you up more on the Adoption soon.
So-
here is some news and I hope you all are well.
Re: SOS "Save Orphaned Siblings"
1) Maureen states that the Democratic Majority in the new Congress is shaping up as a major partnership for us. Senate committee involvement could not be stronger w/ Sen. Ted Kennedy as the likely chair of the Judiciary Committee's Immigration subcommittee (he helped with Hague Convention which is a world wide agreement on international adoption. Our congress will vote on this soon). He is joined there by Sens. Diane Feinstein(D-CA), Russ Feingold(D-WI), Chuck Schumer(D-NY) and Dick Durbin(D-IL). In the House, our closest friend is Cong. Marty Meehan(D-MA) joined by members from Texas and California. These names are in addition to our many friends in key positions on other committees and projections that are based on current assignments and seniority but they bode well. Maureen will keep us informed as more information becomes available.
2) Our interviews are going very well. Here are our stats: a. 11 Interviews Complete b. 9 interviews left to schedule. c. 3 of our families have their adoptions going through. Congratulations to those families!!! They have agreed to still help us by interviewing with us. d. 5 families are not ready to join us yet but want to remain informed.
3) Laura contacted (by email) both Scot Gabriel and Irina Matiychenko today.
4) If you are interested, I watched the Hague Convention hearing on CSPAN and attached my notes to this email.
5) I receive questions occasionally on agencies that may be able to help. I am putting some of the information that I found here. This is not an endorsement but hopefully will provide help to those looking for an agency. If you have questions, please let me know. o World Association for Children and Parents http://www.wacap.org/ . Helping Holly. Not accredited in her region but the MOE is taking exception because they are working toward accreditation and they are accredited in 6 other regions. See attached. o Lutheran Social Svs certified in Noversibersk & Buryatia through 3/07.Please make every effort to complete your interviews. The sooner, we complete them, we can gather information from those who have been successful with Humanitarian Parole and we will begin our work with congress. I know the process is slow but each week there is work being done.
Please stay with us. We are making every effort to be successful.I will be in touch in the next 2-3 weeks with more updates.
Thanks so much for your continued support.
JoanMom to Olga and Ruslan
www.saveorphanedsiblings.com
House committee of International relations on Human Rights November 14, 2006
http://www.internationalrelations.house.gov/hearing_notice.asp?id=744
So-
here is some news and I hope you all are well.
Re: SOS "Save Orphaned Siblings"
1) Maureen states that the Democratic Majority in the new Congress is shaping up as a major partnership for us. Senate committee involvement could not be stronger w/ Sen. Ted Kennedy as the likely chair of the Judiciary Committee's Immigration subcommittee (he helped with Hague Convention which is a world wide agreement on international adoption. Our congress will vote on this soon). He is joined there by Sens. Diane Feinstein(D-CA), Russ Feingold(D-WI), Chuck Schumer(D-NY) and Dick Durbin(D-IL). In the House, our closest friend is Cong. Marty Meehan(D-MA) joined by members from Texas and California. These names are in addition to our many friends in key positions on other committees and projections that are based on current assignments and seniority but they bode well. Maureen will keep us informed as more information becomes available.
2) Our interviews are going very well. Here are our stats: a. 11 Interviews Complete b. 9 interviews left to schedule. c. 3 of our families have their adoptions going through. Congratulations to those families!!! They have agreed to still help us by interviewing with us. d. 5 families are not ready to join us yet but want to remain informed.
3) Laura contacted (by email) both Scot Gabriel and Irina Matiychenko today.
4) If you are interested, I watched the Hague Convention hearing on CSPAN and attached my notes to this email.
5) I receive questions occasionally on agencies that may be able to help. I am putting some of the information that I found here. This is not an endorsement but hopefully will provide help to those looking for an agency. If you have questions, please let me know. o World Association for Children and Parents http://www.wacap.org/ . Helping Holly. Not accredited in her region but the MOE is taking exception because they are working toward accreditation and they are accredited in 6 other regions. See attached. o Lutheran Social Svs certified in Noversibersk & Buryatia through 3/07.Please make every effort to complete your interviews. The sooner, we complete them, we can gather information from those who have been successful with Humanitarian Parole and we will begin our work with congress. I know the process is slow but each week there is work being done.
Please stay with us. We are making every effort to be successful.I will be in touch in the next 2-3 weeks with more updates.
Thanks so much for your continued support.
JoanMom to Olga and Ruslan
www.saveorphanedsiblings.com
House committee of International relations on Human Rights November 14, 2006
http://www.internationalrelations.house.gov/hearing_notice.asp?id=744
Monday, November 20, 2006
A Post From An Adoptive Mother About Contacting Her Daughter's Birthmother in Vietnam
I have permission to post this by the author. This is true.
I have just returned from Hanoi, Viet Nam where I am building an orphanage.
We have been involved with my 101/2 yr. old daughter's birth mom, sister and extended family for over 2 years now.
I decided to visit Hoa even though my daughter was not with me on this trip. I decided that, as she has invited me several times, I would take her up on her offer of staying overnight in the home we helped her build.
I did not have an interpreteur...just a Handycam and lots of sign language and mutual admiration. Where she lives is poor, dirt poor. But there is love and food, and we help her out. When I arrived, I was stunned. There stood a woman who was a mere ghost of herself from our last get together in March. She was beyond thin, she was emaciated....She said she couldn't eat, it hurt. She had seen a doctor in a neighboring small town, but the medication was not helping, and basically, she had just decided that she was going to waste away.................................No, she had not thought to contact our mutual friend, a woman Dr. in Hanoi. She did not want to bother her.
That night, as I sat in the dark on the table which was my bed and watched fireworks go off above the local paddies (though they are illegal they are everywhere in the countryside and though there was no exact holiday---they were just setting them off)-------I agnonized.
This erie flashing of lights and noise made me think of VN during the war.......how it must have felt to sit in the dark and wait. This time the enemy was internal. I knew Hoa was very ill. I returned to Hanoi in 2 days with Hoa. Fortunately my husband has taught surgery at Viet Duc Hospital (the best in the No. for surgery) and we got right in to see Dr. Son. Two days later the tests confirmed my fears. Hoa has colon CA. She had surgery and is recovering for two weeks, then the chemotherapy will start. She made all the decisions. I made sure she knew all the facts. She was offered care abroad. We cried and held each other as I told her we would adopt Lily's sister if that need arose, and we would support her and take care of her if she chose to have her remain in VN.
I told her I was not going to tell Lily until after the Holiday's and that we would be back in early Feb. to see her. I told here she had to fight this with all her strength...that she was loved by so many, especially the girls.
She told Dr. Son she had only one request before surgery...that I be there. She did well post-op and went back to her village to rest before chemostarts in 2 weeks on the day I left VN, 48 hours ago. This is not about me folks....but let me share with you some of the things that are going through my mind. I will, to my dying day, support birth family searches.
No matter how this turns out, how painful for my daughter, she will have known and loved her mother. If I had not visited this trip, the tumor was so invasive it would shortly have eroded through the bowel and she would have been dead when we returned as planned in March/April. I believe that this was suppposed to happen. I believe that Lily and Hoa have to see each other---maybe not for much longer, and maybe we'll be lucky. I believe in medicine and I believe in love (call the latter God, Buddha, karma, whatever.)
I made sure that Hoa knew everything---side effects, how cancer spreads and how chemo works. She said she believes we will someday (we've always joked about being Ba's together for Lily's kids) have grandchildren that we need to be there together for...whatever it takes.
She doesn'twant to recouperate and be sick but she realizes that she has to go against everything she knows and must rest and eat as her family takes care of her. She is in touch with death in a calm way, one I can't describe...there is no fear, anger or denial. Just wishful thinking....I can't describe it. I cried and cried. She just looked sad. She carries this burden as she has all of the struggles in her life...extreme poverty, abuse, hunger, relinquishing Lily, divorce, ---all of it with an incredible composure, an acceptance that does not impart defeat, but rather innitiates a realigning of her inner strengths to carry on.
No wonder the Vietnamese won the war.............................I just am praying that this battle is won as well.
So, as you debate the rights and wrongs of searches I pause to think---briefly---of how much easier this all would have been if I had not searched on my own and found my daughter's birth mother those 10 long years ago. How I promised her then, that if and when Lily expressed a desire to know her, I would return with her to Viet Nam. I know that it was destiny that at 8 Lily and our family returned for a wonderful reunion with our other family---at my daughter's request.
And most of all, I am greatful for the time Lily has had with the woman who gave her life. Each person must make their own decision. This is how it all came down for us.
In the e-mail that gives me permission to post this, she said:
Hello CAMomma,
That would be OK for you to post my letter on your blog, and send it on to whomoever you wish. I am hoping it will help those considering searching to really consider the possibilities...Some seem so rather casual about it, and some seem overly paranoid and reactive. I feel that it is just about family...we are just all humans looking for love, support, understanding and brotherhood. In the ever increasing list of intense events that have tought me great lessons in life...knowing Hoa is right up there...
Sincerely,
K****
I have just returned from Hanoi, Viet Nam where I am building an orphanage.
We have been involved with my 101/2 yr. old daughter's birth mom, sister and extended family for over 2 years now.
I decided to visit Hoa even though my daughter was not with me on this trip. I decided that, as she has invited me several times, I would take her up on her offer of staying overnight in the home we helped her build.
I did not have an interpreteur...just a Handycam and lots of sign language and mutual admiration. Where she lives is poor, dirt poor. But there is love and food, and we help her out. When I arrived, I was stunned. There stood a woman who was a mere ghost of herself from our last get together in March. She was beyond thin, she was emaciated....She said she couldn't eat, it hurt. She had seen a doctor in a neighboring small town, but the medication was not helping, and basically, she had just decided that she was going to waste away.................................No, she had not thought to contact our mutual friend, a woman Dr. in Hanoi. She did not want to bother her.
That night, as I sat in the dark on the table which was my bed and watched fireworks go off above the local paddies (though they are illegal they are everywhere in the countryside and though there was no exact holiday---they were just setting them off)-------I agnonized.
This erie flashing of lights and noise made me think of VN during the war.......how it must have felt to sit in the dark and wait. This time the enemy was internal. I knew Hoa was very ill. I returned to Hanoi in 2 days with Hoa. Fortunately my husband has taught surgery at Viet Duc Hospital (the best in the No. for surgery) and we got right in to see Dr. Son. Two days later the tests confirmed my fears. Hoa has colon CA. She had surgery and is recovering for two weeks, then the chemotherapy will start. She made all the decisions. I made sure she knew all the facts. She was offered care abroad. We cried and held each other as I told her we would adopt Lily's sister if that need arose, and we would support her and take care of her if she chose to have her remain in VN.
I told her I was not going to tell Lily until after the Holiday's and that we would be back in early Feb. to see her. I told here she had to fight this with all her strength...that she was loved by so many, especially the girls.
She told Dr. Son she had only one request before surgery...that I be there. She did well post-op and went back to her village to rest before chemostarts in 2 weeks on the day I left VN, 48 hours ago. This is not about me folks....but let me share with you some of the things that are going through my mind. I will, to my dying day, support birth family searches.
No matter how this turns out, how painful for my daughter, she will have known and loved her mother. If I had not visited this trip, the tumor was so invasive it would shortly have eroded through the bowel and she would have been dead when we returned as planned in March/April. I believe that this was suppposed to happen. I believe that Lily and Hoa have to see each other---maybe not for much longer, and maybe we'll be lucky. I believe in medicine and I believe in love (call the latter God, Buddha, karma, whatever.)
I made sure that Hoa knew everything---side effects, how cancer spreads and how chemo works. She said she believes we will someday (we've always joked about being Ba's together for Lily's kids) have grandchildren that we need to be there together for...whatever it takes.
She doesn'twant to recouperate and be sick but she realizes that she has to go against everything she knows and must rest and eat as her family takes care of her. She is in touch with death in a calm way, one I can't describe...there is no fear, anger or denial. Just wishful thinking....I can't describe it. I cried and cried. She just looked sad. She carries this burden as she has all of the struggles in her life...extreme poverty, abuse, hunger, relinquishing Lily, divorce, ---all of it with an incredible composure, an acceptance that does not impart defeat, but rather innitiates a realigning of her inner strengths to carry on.
No wonder the Vietnamese won the war.............................I just am praying that this battle is won as well.
So, as you debate the rights and wrongs of searches I pause to think---briefly---of how much easier this all would have been if I had not searched on my own and found my daughter's birth mother those 10 long years ago. How I promised her then, that if and when Lily expressed a desire to know her, I would return with her to Viet Nam. I know that it was destiny that at 8 Lily and our family returned for a wonderful reunion with our other family---at my daughter's request.
And most of all, I am greatful for the time Lily has had with the woman who gave her life. Each person must make their own decision. This is how it all came down for us.
In the e-mail that gives me permission to post this, she said:
Hello CAMomma,
That would be OK for you to post my letter on your blog, and send it on to whomoever you wish. I am hoping it will help those considering searching to really consider the possibilities...Some seem so rather casual about it, and some seem overly paranoid and reactive. I feel that it is just about family...we are just all humans looking for love, support, understanding and brotherhood. In the ever increasing list of intense events that have tought me great lessons in life...knowing Hoa is right up there...
Sincerely,
K****
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Mom Makes World Smaller For Russian Daughter
To Russia, with love:Mom makes world smaller for Russian daughter
By Cara Spilsbury , Staff writerDaily News of Newburyport
NEWBURYPORT - Isabel Fudge stretched every one of her little fingers in pursuit of the large plastic pumpkin pushed back on the kitchen counter, set purposefully out of reach of the 3-year-old.
Her Halloween loot sat just inside the hollowed jack-o'-lantern, and even her tiptoes weren't enough. So she pushed a stool against the counter, climbed up and found her prize - Skittles and popcorn - the perfect snack for watching "Dora the Explorer."
It is a very American scene, a life far detached from the Russian orphanage from which Isabel came. But thanks to the diligence of her adoptive mother, Isabel will one day know her heritage and may have a connection with her two brothers, who remain with 120 other orphans living at a school in Russia.
Isabel was one of the lucky ones out of more than 170,000 children in Russian orphanages to find a loving family. She was adopted by Newburyport resident Kristen Fudge and her husband, Geoffrey, in March 2004, a week before Isabel's first birthday, from an orphanage in Lobnya, Russia.
Kristen Fudge is using modern technology, networking and love to bring Isabel's two worlds closer together, while making the life of her two brothers a little brighter along the way.
Isabel's adoptive parents knew that she had two brothers in an orphanage somewhere in Russia, but no one was sure where. The Fudges have always been open with Isabel about her background, even if the 3-year-old might not fully grasp it yet.
When they returned home to the United States, Kristen Fudge was determined to find their whereabouts. She scoured the Internet, looking for clues about where they might be found. With the help of several Web sites and international groups, her sleuthing was successful.
Dimitri, 14, and Nikoli, 12, are healthy and happy in a clean orphanage in the small village of Tuchkovo, about 44 miles outside of Moscow. Fudge was pleased to learn there was a female cousin at the orphanage as well. She has also learned that Isabel's birth mother had another baby.
When Isabel learned about her brothers in Russia, she was full of questions.
"She asked, 'Mommy, are they at school?'" Fudge remembered. "And I said, 'Kind of, but they live there.' And then she said, 'I want to live in school, too!'"
With the help of an interpreter, Fudge made contact three weeks ago with the orphanage that housed her daughter's relatives. At 1 a.m., about 9 a.m. in Tuchkovo, she spoke with Natalia Gruzinova, the orphanage's director, and asked what she could do to help.
"She was overwhelmed," Fudge said. "She had never had someone contact them and ask what they needed."
The children at the orphanage in Tuchkovo are active in sports, arts, drama, music and many other activities. Including Isabel's family members, there are more than 120 orphans, all between the ages of 7 and 18. Of those, 38 of them are true orphans who do not have either parent.
Fudge found out that the orphanage was in need of supplies for extracurricular activities, such as coloring books, sports equipment, instruments, costumes and quilting fabric. Her first idea to raise money for the orphanage was to sell Russian-themed sachets on the Internet, but the endeavor did not take off like she had hoped. Then Fudge realized she could use the connections she already had to make a difference.
Fudge, a resource teacher at Kennedy School in Somerville, got her students involved. Twenty-five of them make up a group at the school called Operation Russia, and they meet every other Wednesday to plan monthly fundraisers for an orphanage full of children they have never met.
With their first fundraisers, a popcorn sale and a Halloween hat day, they have raised $425. They hope to send their first shipment of quilting fabric and costumes this month. Closer to Christmas, they want to find the orphanage a new Santa suit.
In Russia, Santa is known to children as "Father Frost."
The students of Operation Russia are learning Russian to become pen pals with some of the children in Tuchkovo. They also want to exchange art they created as a way to communicate in spite of the language barrier.
Fudge has sent pictures of Isabel to Dimitri and Nikoli, as well as MP3/CD players that made the boys scream with joy. Originally, she thought that all the siblings were taken away at the same time, but now it is unclear if the boys ever met their young sister.
Isabel was only 3 months old when she was removed, and although authorities like to keep related children together, she was placed in an orphanage by herself because she had not yet bonded with her brothers. But through the unrelenting work of her new mother, Isabel will now have the chance.
"She may want to make contact someday," Fudge explained, "or she may not. But at least we made the contact, so it's up to her."
For more information about locating relatives of internationally adopted children, visit www.saveorphanedsiblings.com or www.russianfamilysearch.com .
By Cara Spilsbury , Staff writerDaily News of Newburyport
NEWBURYPORT - Isabel Fudge stretched every one of her little fingers in pursuit of the large plastic pumpkin pushed back on the kitchen counter, set purposefully out of reach of the 3-year-old.
Her Halloween loot sat just inside the hollowed jack-o'-lantern, and even her tiptoes weren't enough. So she pushed a stool against the counter, climbed up and found her prize - Skittles and popcorn - the perfect snack for watching "Dora the Explorer."
It is a very American scene, a life far detached from the Russian orphanage from which Isabel came. But thanks to the diligence of her adoptive mother, Isabel will one day know her heritage and may have a connection with her two brothers, who remain with 120 other orphans living at a school in Russia.
Isabel was one of the lucky ones out of more than 170,000 children in Russian orphanages to find a loving family. She was adopted by Newburyport resident Kristen Fudge and her husband, Geoffrey, in March 2004, a week before Isabel's first birthday, from an orphanage in Lobnya, Russia.
Kristen Fudge is using modern technology, networking and love to bring Isabel's two worlds closer together, while making the life of her two brothers a little brighter along the way.
Isabel's adoptive parents knew that she had two brothers in an orphanage somewhere in Russia, but no one was sure where. The Fudges have always been open with Isabel about her background, even if the 3-year-old might not fully grasp it yet.
When they returned home to the United States, Kristen Fudge was determined to find their whereabouts. She scoured the Internet, looking for clues about where they might be found. With the help of several Web sites and international groups, her sleuthing was successful.
Dimitri, 14, and Nikoli, 12, are healthy and happy in a clean orphanage in the small village of Tuchkovo, about 44 miles outside of Moscow. Fudge was pleased to learn there was a female cousin at the orphanage as well. She has also learned that Isabel's birth mother had another baby.
When Isabel learned about her brothers in Russia, she was full of questions.
"She asked, 'Mommy, are they at school?'" Fudge remembered. "And I said, 'Kind of, but they live there.' And then she said, 'I want to live in school, too!'"
With the help of an interpreter, Fudge made contact three weeks ago with the orphanage that housed her daughter's relatives. At 1 a.m., about 9 a.m. in Tuchkovo, she spoke with Natalia Gruzinova, the orphanage's director, and asked what she could do to help.
"She was overwhelmed," Fudge said. "She had never had someone contact them and ask what they needed."
The children at the orphanage in Tuchkovo are active in sports, arts, drama, music and many other activities. Including Isabel's family members, there are more than 120 orphans, all between the ages of 7 and 18. Of those, 38 of them are true orphans who do not have either parent.
Fudge found out that the orphanage was in need of supplies for extracurricular activities, such as coloring books, sports equipment, instruments, costumes and quilting fabric. Her first idea to raise money for the orphanage was to sell Russian-themed sachets on the Internet, but the endeavor did not take off like she had hoped. Then Fudge realized she could use the connections she already had to make a difference.
Fudge, a resource teacher at Kennedy School in Somerville, got her students involved. Twenty-five of them make up a group at the school called Operation Russia, and they meet every other Wednesday to plan monthly fundraisers for an orphanage full of children they have never met.
With their first fundraisers, a popcorn sale and a Halloween hat day, they have raised $425. They hope to send their first shipment of quilting fabric and costumes this month. Closer to Christmas, they want to find the orphanage a new Santa suit.
In Russia, Santa is known to children as "Father Frost."
The students of Operation Russia are learning Russian to become pen pals with some of the children in Tuchkovo. They also want to exchange art they created as a way to communicate in spite of the language barrier.
Fudge has sent pictures of Isabel to Dimitri and Nikoli, as well as MP3/CD players that made the boys scream with joy. Originally, she thought that all the siblings were taken away at the same time, but now it is unclear if the boys ever met their young sister.
Isabel was only 3 months old when she was removed, and although authorities like to keep related children together, she was placed in an orphanage by herself because she had not yet bonded with her brothers. But through the unrelenting work of her new mother, Isabel will now have the chance.
"She may want to make contact someday," Fudge explained, "or she may not. But at least we made the contact, so it's up to her."
For more information about locating relatives of internationally adopted children, visit www.saveorphanedsiblings.com or www.russianfamilysearch.com .
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Did You Vote?
Things I Care About Today:
- California Gov. Race
Phil Angelides OR Arnold Schwarzenegger
2. I haven't even made it to Review Yet! CCAA probably has my file stuffed some dusty old cavern somewhere reminicent of Gringott's Bank.
3. I'm with her ----->
Friday, October 27, 2006
Find Birthsiblings of Children Adopted From Russia
With so much going on right now- I cannot formulate a big long post about finding my son's siblings. I hope to soon. ONLY if their mother is amenable to it. I will not post anymore personal info or photos unless I have her ok.
Anyway- this information is needed and I will write more about what you can do to find a child's birthsiblings or birthparents.
I wrote in this post about Natasha. She told me what is needed according to Russian authorities to find a sibling of an adopted child from Russia. An adopted sibling of an adopted child from Russia. Get it? Here goes:
- Write a short letter requesting to contact the other adoptive parents
- Mail the original letter and a translation of the letter to the address of the Ministry of Education supervising your particular region.
- The Ministry of Education will send a letter to you acknowledging receipt of your request.
- The Ministry of Education will contact the other adoptive parents.
- The Ministry of Education will send you a second letter with the decision of the other adoptive parents.
Unfortunately the process takes some time.
Natasha can do the research to find the right address for the corresponding Office of the MOE or Center of Guardianship and Adoption for your Region.
By the law Ministry of Education handles this type of request, and they are the only ones required by law to respond to your request.
Again, there is a link to Natasha's web site in the title.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Afraid to Hope
I may have found them..... I may have found them. Here is an e-mail I rec'd tonight:
"CAMomma,
Out of curiosity, what part of the country are you located in? I just found out the 3 girls were adopted by friends of ours, you'll be getting an email in the next day or two. They are in ** – it would be so wonderful if you guys were close to each other geographically!"
There are tears rolling down my face. I have been looking for so long I am afraid to think this might be it. It seems so odd to me that I have been searching so hard just to have this fall into my lap.
I am on the wrong coast! They are NOT close geographically. But they are a hell of a lot closer than Russia!
Let's all hope that their parents are open to the kids meeting. Let's hope they don't read my blog and see what bad language I have.
"CAMomma,
Out of curiosity, what part of the country are you located in? I just found out the 3 girls were adopted by friends of ours, you'll be getting an email in the next day or two. They are in ** – it would be so wonderful if you guys were close to each other geographically!"
There are tears rolling down my face. I have been looking for so long I am afraid to think this might be it. It seems so odd to me that I have been searching so hard just to have this fall into my lap.
I am on the wrong coast! They are NOT close geographically. But they are a hell of a lot closer than Russia!
Let's all hope that their parents are open to the kids meeting. Let's hope they don't read my blog and see what bad language I have.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Pokrov - Russia Siblings Listserv
I have finally found a listserv dedicated to the children of the Pokrov Children's Home.
Pokrov is a town in the Vladimir Region of Russia. My youngest son and his siblings came from the Vladimir Region. His half siblings were placed in Pokrov. As he was only one year of age he was placed in the baby home in Vladimir City.
There are very few foster homes in Russia. Most children who are removed from the family home or are relinquished at birth, are sent to what the US calls orphanages. They are detsy dom's or children's homes in Russia. Most of these homes are based on the age of the children residing in them. There are baby homes ( for the children 4 and under), childrens homes and internats or "schools" for the older children. This is a generic description.
Three of the older siblings of my son were close in age and had the same father. They were sent to live at the children's home in Pokrov. I am told they were able to stay in the same room together- I don't know for sure. Another of the older sister's was sent to a home in the Lakinsk District. It was a home for her specific special needs. I believe these placements also have a lot to do with what home has room for what age child.
Anyway, I'll write more about my thoughts on why they were adopted separately later. I just want others to have this resource as well. If your child had friends or family in the Pokrov Children's Home, click on the title of this post and you will be taken to the Yahoo Group site. It is a very small group but I hope it will grow.
I just posted yesterday on my search for my son's siblings. I received a response this morning from a woman who knows of a family that adopted three sibling girls from there. My fingers are crossed to hear from her soon. I sent her the names of "EB's" sisters.
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